Posted by Eric'sGirl (Member # 10652) October 26, 2007 01:35 AM:
This THANK YOU! is long overdue…. I had my TR one week ago! I have started and restarted this 100 times over in the past 7 days. I can’t find the words to say what I feel in my heart… so the following is a mere fraction of the gratitude that Dr. Berger and all the wonderful nurses and staff at Chapel Hill deserve.
I found Dr. Berger’s website in March 2004. Life had thrown one hell of a twist my way… my high school sweetheart and I were reunited. I may have loved other men in my life… but never the way had I loved him. And he was back… a second chance to correct bad life decisions we made 10 years earlier.
In those “lost” 10 years I had met and had kids with a man… a man that was my best friend and my worst enemy. He changed me… I lost some of the personality traits that made me “me” while I was with him. And along the way, I opted for a TL – and asked a doctor to “cut and burn” my tubes instead of the clips he was going to use. I knew if I came home with clips I would only hear over and over again how I did that so I could leave him and start a new family with someone else. His post operative notes didn’t make much sense! So the first time I sent them into Dr. Berger, he told me my post op notes were ambiguous. I was told I could have the pre-screen laparoscopy to determine the true effect of my TL.
So that is where it sat… until I got married in October 2006 and decided to start pursuing a TR more aggressively. In January 2007 I had an ovarian cyst… and a wonderful local Ob/Gyn. My doctor told me we could wait 8 weeks for the cyst to resolve itself and do a follow-up ultrasound. I said I didn’t want to wait 8 weeks and risk a rupture – that I was considering a TR. He removed the cyst and took pictures so I could send them to Dr. Berger.
Those pictures put me in “marginal” candidate status - I am a smart woman… but never looked into the numerous ways a TL can be performed. That doctor… the one that was recommending clips because I was so young (27 yrs old) went on to remove all but 3-5cm of my tubes and cauterize them right up to my uterus wall. No two ends for anastomosis… and possibly not enough tube left for implantation.
In 2004, I had sent my report to two other doctors – wasn’t as impressed with them from the start….but this time I was doing due diligence in the research phase. Again, I contacted the two other facilities. One took over a week to respond… and the other, the nurse on the phone wasn’t versed enough to understand the “implantation” option… or maybe they just didn’t perform it… or maybe not that often – I don’t know. All I know is neither had the support network that Dr. Berger and his staff provided.
I once sent an email over the weekend…. Because I had time to send it then and wasn’t expecting an answer until Monday… It by no means was anything pressing. Dr. Berger himself responded… shortly after I sent it!!!! Oh my goodness… that pushed me over the edge. It was followed shortly by a response by the nurse that was copied on it!
I have now been to CHTRC… I don’t know how they do it! Four consults and four surgeries each day… and somehow there is ALWAYS a prompt reply to every phone call and email. And the message board full of ladies who are saving to schedule, waiting for their day, or on the other side…. You couldn’t ask for a better support system!
On Wednesday, October 17th I walked into CHTRC for my consult. What an amazing place to be! Nothing but professionalism from the second you walk in… until you walk back out. I hire people for our service company… I can’t believe the caliber of the staff Dr. Berger has assembled! It is not an easy feat to find that many people who put their heart and soul into their work and the cause!
On Wednesday, October 17th I met with Dr. Berger. I don’t know if I have ever been in the presence of such a gifted and caring individual. And I don’t know if I have ever been so shaken. He accepted me… at my “marginal” candidacy – and I came face to face with that reality. I signed a surgical consent form that needed to be so vague – “bilateral tuboplasty” (plastic surgery of my tubes!) it read. I didn’t fit into either “standard” (anastomosis or implantation) procedure. I walked into that room knowing that there was no other person on this planet that could put me together. And with complete professionalism, he walked me through every reality and every possibility. I watched as he drew out what he MAY be able to do. I left struggling to hold onto the faith I had – IN HIM! I wanted a miracle out of him – how unfair of an expectation was that?!?! In fact, I even told him to write, “Dr. Berger is going to pull of a miracle tomorrow” on my surgical consent form – instead of “bilateral tuboplasty.”
My husband wasn’t there that day. He was in Cincinnati for work – flying in that night to be there for the surgery the next day. But I wasn’t alone… Dr. Berger’s network extends past the doors of CHTRC. Online I had my girls pulling for me… from all over the world! And back at the hotel, I had Donna and her husband Bob. Donna was on my thread… and had surgery the day of my consult. We hung out after her surgery and my consult…. Clear through my husband arriving at 9 o’clock that night. They kept my chin up. Without them I would have sat in my hotel room – crying until my husband got there. It was ALL OR NOTHING the next day.
So with my hopes and dream of babies with my high school sweetheart on the line… I walked back into CHTRC on Thursday, October 18th. I have never been so scared of an “answer," and surgery never seemed so – well… refined and simple. There were no worries… they took such good care of you and kept you so comfortable! I almost forgot there was a chance this wouldn’t go well!
I remember telling me they were starting the anesthesia. I remember trying to wake up and ask the nurses what he did. I wasn’t the typical case… he had told them he wanted to explain things to me… they weren’t able to say much. I remember someone telling me, “thumbs up!” I remember someone saying, “It’s good news!” I wasn’t catching their hints. Half loopy – and fully determined to get the answers I wanted… I guess I worried my recovery nurses. My husband later told me they came to get him and told him they had upset me.
Dr. Berger PULLED OFF A MIRACLE THAT DAY! He found my original passage through my uterine wall. He connected the minimal tube my TL doctor left behind. Dr. Berger sat in front of me and told me I had 4.0 cm on the right and 3.0 cm on the left. OH MY GOSH!!!! I wasn’t supposed to have much more than that in there!
And here is where I can’t explain what I feel inside… gratitude… hope… faith… yes! But they don’t come close to describing what it feels like to be whole again. What it feels like to be with my husband. What it feels like to make love and know I may be able to make a baby…. The old fashion way.
I don’t know how to say “thank you” for all that! I believe in always giving of yourself what you can give… you may never know when you will need to ask someone for something. I have never done something so great in my life for anyone – I don’t know how to pay this forward – I spin every time I try to fully grasp the impact he has had on our life.
Never have I been so amazed by anyone! I don’t know what made him dedicate himself to women… to families. He gives us so much – and there is nothing we give him! Or so I feel.
I have been on the boards long enough to know my same story is replayed time and time again by women who find you… what a gift you give us by providing us the opportunity to undo our past!
I am sorry this is so long…
Dr. Berger, Sarah, Jan, Ericka, Jennifer, Julia, Rhonda, Pam, and Dr. Phlugrath – I remember each of you from that day or previous correspondences… and I know there were other surgical nurses and recovery nurses I was too hazy to acknowledge… please don't feel I thank you any less!
THANK YOU! Thank you for caring so much…. Thank you for being the amazing people you are… Thank you for what you have given me… us… and our family!
May all your lives be as blessed as those you help!
Chrissy 34
Eric 35
TR 10-18-07
Posted by pam mills (Member # 617) October 26, 2007 05:53 AM:
Chrissy,
I am speechless, what an endearing testimonial! It was our pleasure to care for you.
Thank you for putting your trust in us and coming to the Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center.
Pam Mills, CRNA
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Posted by Ericka Pamplin (Member # 1953) on October 26, 2007 07:37 AM:
Chrissy, thank you for your kind words. It was a pleasure meeting you and Eric. I'm glad you enjoyed your experience here. Best wishes and I hope to here POSITIVE news from you soon!
Ericka
Posted by Rhonda Brown, RN (Member # 9485) October 26, 2007 08:40 AM:
Dear Chrissy,'
Thank you so much for the kind words. It was truely a pleasure meeting you. It is such a blessing for us to be a part of such a wonderful experience. Good luck to you and please keep us posted on how things go for you.
Rhonda
Posted by Jennifer Okun, R.N. (Member # 1806) October 26, 2007 08:45 AM:
Thank you Chrissy for your touching post. It means a lot when patients take the time to send a sweet message like yours. And I am happy to hear that your experience here went so well.
Best wishes to you and I also hope to hear good news from you soon!
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Posted by Myrna (Member # 11121) October 26, 2007 08:51 AM:
Chrissy,
Thank You for the kind words and I wish only the best for you and Eric. Please keep us posted on your journey.
Myrna
CHSC
Posted by Cjl (Member # 11408) on document.write(timestamp(new Date(2007,9,26,9,11,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); October 26, 2007 09:11 AMOctober 26, 2007 09:11 AM:
OMG! I actually cried when I read this just now. I hope and pray all goes well for you Chrissy!
Baby dust to us all as we wait patiently!
Carla
Posted by ANANICKY07 (Member # 11330) October 26, 2007 09:32 AM:
This is a very touching story... My eyes are watering just reading.
Happy baby dust to you Chrissy.
Posted by danielle83 (Member # 11518) October 26, 2007 12:30 PM:
Awe, you have me in tears. That was such a touching post. I feel the same way about the Chapel Hill staff and Dr. Berger. They are angels under cover. Just like you said, helping us undo our past and move on with our futures. I pray that you get your BFP soon, best of luck
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Posted by Sweetpea (Member # 2742) on document.write(timestamp(new Date(2007,9,26,14,4,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); October 26, 2007 02:04 PMOctober 26, 2007 02:04 PM:
Chrissy~
I was very moved to read your testimonal. We are all very lucky to have crossed paths with Dr. Berger and his amazing staff. Dr. B is blessed with the great talent of putting us back together. I wish you tons of baby dust and look forward to your post that says your PG!
Blessing!
~V~
Posted by Eric'sGirl (Member # 10652) October 26, 2007 02:36 PM:
To all of you posting and wishing me well... THANK YOU! This wasn't meant to draw attention to me... but again, the support system on here is second to none!
Baby Dust, BFPs and new additions to your families... right back at all of you!
Chrissy
Posted by Gary S Berger MD (Member # 3) October 26, 2007 05:01 PM:
Chrissy - Your eloquent and heartfelt post has obviously touched other staff members and message board members as well as me. I want to thank you for your message. I am pleased that everything has gone well for you, as I wish it for everyone who comes here. And, of course, I hope that time will result in the birth of a healthy child for you and your husband.
I think often about the importance of being able have "second chances". With regard to "miracles"...What I view as a miracle is not what I do, but the body's ability to heal itself and restore normal function when surgery is performed carefully to repair disrupted anatomy.
Just last week while you were in Chapel Hill, I received a gift from from the Tubal Reversal Nurses, a beautifully framed quote by Einstein that I think is apropos to repeat here:
"There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle."
Posted by Eric'sGirl (Member # 10652) October 26, 2007 05:33 PM:
Thank you, Dr. Berger!
I choose everything is a miracle! And the blessing of you is one of those - whether you will accept that being donned upon you or not!
Donna (My TR sister) gave me a Willow Tree figurine - Angel of Mine(mother and baby). You have one in the waiting room. I will now seek out that quote to put by it and the picture we took of us at the hotel. I can't think of a more perfect way to display a tribute to our Chapel Hill adventure!
Bless you!
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