Showing posts with label fertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fertility. Show all posts

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Helpful Ideas for Becoming Pregnant After Tubal Reversal Surgery

Tubal Reversal Message Board member Jan asks other patients to share what they did to help become pregnant after tubal reversal procedures by Dr. Berger and Dr. Monteith. Many patients respond to her question and give helpful hints, ideas, and advice. There are many things you can do to aid in becoming pregnant more quickly after tubal reversal surgery. One of the most useful tools is to use an ovulation predictor kit each month to make sure you are ovulating and to help pinpoint the most fertile time of your cycle.

This is topic What did You do to get your BFP? in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by Peach

I have been reading lots of boards, posts, and logs about what so many have done to get pregnant.. Due to some age groups. more should be done as you get older. Since not everyone is a part of a certain thread... maybe posting your suggestions, experiences, and what you have done in assisting in getting you fertility "in check" to get pregnant....not to mention going to a fertility Specialist. ie: EPO, Preseed, clomid, fertilaid... etc... What did you take or do to acchieve your goals? Can we get some helpers out there to add their list of "things to do" while TTC.
Though I did not get my BFP every since my TR in 05 and goning through LAp in 12/07. I still would like to let you know what I did, and what I should have continue to do....
Preseed, clomid many times, prenate vitamins, extra folic acid, mucinex (not that i needed it), and started eatting right and walking 1 hour a day.

me 44
dh 45
tl 86'
tr 4/05- HSG- 10/05- left blocked, right open
IUI 4 times every other month in 06-07 NEG results
RE done a Lap/Recannulation 12/07- both were blocked - now supposedly both OPEN.
My cycles all were ovulatory... and levels were good. 4.6-7.8 only once did it get to 10.3 for FSH. Lining always thick enuff. dh sperm was over 20mil- considered normal for his age.. morphology motility was a bit low but well enuff. Guess not!
Now What?

Thanks
Jan


Posted by Jennifer K.

We had our TR in August, 2005. It took us 22 months to get pregnant with Lydia Grace - that was after 4 miscarriages and 1 suspected ectopic. Here is what I was doing the month we got pregnant with Lydia Grace:

Metformin (1500mg)
Baby aspirin
Clomid (100mg on CD5-9)
Trigger shot on CD15
Progesterone (100mg 2x daily starting 2 days after O)
BD CD14,15, 16 & 17 (1x per day)
Preseed
Prenatal
Acupuncture (1x per week started 6 weeks before BFP)
No coffee
Eating right
Mild exercise

I was diagnosed with PCOS and unknown repeat m/c. I did all the tests and everything came back normal. I started seeing an RE about a year after my TR. We got our first BFP the first month we were seeing her and our first month on clomid. Unfortunately, it ended in a miscarriage. After our 3rd m/c our RE started treating us as if we had been diagnosed w/ repeat m/c even though my test results were normal. I had good egg reserves and a good lining and the clomid helped me to ovulate regularly. My RE thought that the PCOS was affecting my egg quality and that we needed to keep trying until we "popped off a good one" which we eventually did. We now have a happy, healthy, beautiful 9 month old baby girl that is THE light of my life.

I hope this helps those still out there waiting for their BFP. I'm living proof that it can and will happen if you hang in there and keep trying.

Jenn



Posted by MRC

Jan....the first time I got pregnant I was on a "break" and did nothing special but let off the pressure...that ended in m/c. The second and third time I got pregnant was the same scenario...my dh was drinking ALOT of redbull...the second pregnancy ended in m/c as well..but third time was a charm...I'm just about 20 weeks pregnant with my first tr baby. Have your dh drink redbull before bd...it can't hurt...another girl on the march 06' board has here dh do that and she has a beautiful tr baby girl. You are mor than welcome to come join us over there as well [Big Grin]
Michelle
TR 3-6-06
m/c 9-29-06
m/c 2/13/08
BFP 7-3-08 EDD 3-9-09


Posted by Tanya from VA

TR 9-7-06
BFP 9-11-07
Carly 5-13-08

The cycle I got pregnant I did nothing in particular. I used my ClearBlue monitor and I OPK'ed twice. We bd'ed twice - every other day - only twice in the fertile period.

I ttc for a year and had two miscarriage. In that time I took took asprin, used Pre-Seed, took vitamins, had my dh take vitamins, used my monitor, used OPK's, tried the Instead, laid on my back after bd'ing - and I've become a believer that half of this stuff we do while ttc doesn't really do anything.

I know that sounds harsh - I certainly tried it all myself - but the one time I did absolutely NOTHING, and didn't even take it overly serious (we were moving, stressed, I didn't even hardly temp and didn't test until my AF was due) I got my sticky BFP.

Good luck to all! [Smile]


Posted by HisWill

Jan,

The number one thing I did, was prepare for the fact (as much as possible-it's a lie to say that dissapointment and heartache wouldn't be normal) that I didn't know what my outcome would be. I knew many ladies on the boards conceived the first time trying, others take a while, and some never become pregnant. The one factor in common is that all want another child(ren). I was truly ready that this may not be God's plan for me. I didn't want to be heartbroken over something I wasn't guaranteed. I was actually surprised I became pregnant, because I had been so realistic about it not being my call.

I didn't OPK or chart, because I know I would over-focus on this, and I didn't believe making it the focus of my life would be my honestly surrendering it to God how I intended.

I know this is a very personal journey for all of us ladies-I'm just sharing how I embarked on my journey. I pray for all of us to have peace regarding our fertility.

I take herbs to promote overall health. I don't believe beginning something for the sake of fertility is necessarily very effective. I take the following for my overall health and I do it whether TTC or not..so it's been years that I've been on it.

Good Multi vitamin
3000 mg vitamin C
EPO from CD1-O when TTC, otherwise all month
Super B complex
Fish Oil 1000 mg
Baby aspirin all the time. I take this because I lost a baby due to positive ANA. I don't believe it necessarily helps get pregnant, but I know for sure it protects me from m/c.

Husband takes good multi vitamin
zinc
1000 mg vit C
Super B complex
Baby aspirin for heart health
Fish oil 1000 mg

Andrea-31
Dh-37 next month
DS-11
DS-6
DD-5
DD-3
TL 4/19/05 at time of c-section
TR 7/30/08
BFP 9/16/08-1st cycle TTC
EDD 5/28/09


Posted by debjim

Not trying to be funny or anything, but all we did was BD during O time, I didn't even use OPK's I just knew around when I would O.

It took 5 months for the first baby and 3 the second.


Posted by Marty

For me it took 0 months for my first TR baby and he is 9 months. I breastfeeded the first 6 and now that he is 9 months Im pregnant so I would say it took 2 months for Baby # 2....

Martha


Posted by Marty

Sorry did not write what I did... Lots of you know what and Fertil-Aid- Also eating healthy and lots of jogging seems both times I got pregnant is when I would be in pretty good shape...


Posted by BlessedMommyKat

I have been taking pre natal vitamins for 18 months, I've tried charting/temping, using opk's alternating BD days...I'm stumped as to how some of you just don't really think about it and... poof! You're pregnant! Are those of you who have gotten bfp's physically fit and within normal BMI ranges? I'm overweight and can't help but to wonder if that is hurting me.


Posted by Amy1234

Pre-Seed + opk + Dh drank Redbull 10 minutes before bd.


Posted by HisWill

Hi BlessedMommyKat,

My BMI is in a good range. Before this pregnancy I was 5'9 and about 140.

I truly think being overweight may cause problems. Obviously, plenty of overweight women become pregnant, but because fat cells in women produce estrogen dominance, it is likely that being overweight doesn't help fertility. High amounts of body fat can increase estrogen-or prolong the estrogen phase, thus reducing the mature follicles and ovulation.

I understand being overweight. In my first pregnancy, my doctor thought I had lupus. He placed me on 80 mg of prednisone a day. I started out at 120lbs, and at 34 weeks when I delivered I was 218. Additionally, with each of my pregnancies I gain WAY over the recommended amounts of weight on very healthy foods and the right amount of calories. My doctor says that I have a maternal storing thing going on. Unfortunately, I don't shed much weight through bf'ing like my friends! So I have to work hard after each of my 4 children to lose a lot of weight to be healthy. I understand what it's like!

Best wishes!

Andrea


Posted by april1979

HI, I am 29 and my DH is 44, I had my TL in 01, and TR on 12-07, It took us 8 months to get pregnant. First I tried the figuring out when I O'd, and starting taking prenatal vitamins. After 5 months of trying, I had looked into Clomid and Pre-seed, Had DH tested, was normal, When I purchased the Clomid and Preseed I had to wait for next cycle, and AF never came. The month before, I had said that maybe this is not In God's plan for us to have a baby. And was going to give up. So, when I got pregnant, I was on nothing, BD'd Twice One at night and once in morning, (that is what did it for my sister too, BD'ing twice when O'ing)
I am over weight, my bmi is high, I know that does not help, But it doesn't make it impossible. So I hope this helps. Good Luck to all still trying! Oh due on 4-25-08!!!


Posted by AnitaA68

Jan, I'm sorry this journey hasn't been the one you had hoped for.

My TR was in November 05.

We tried everything we could come up with, for me and for DH. At first, it was just letting nature take it's course. After the HSG showed open tubes, we stepped it up a bit using temping OPKs, etc. We eventually went to an RE who diagnosed me with unexplained infertility. That was very disappointing since all tests came back with excellent results. We did a few rounds of drugs, IUIs and then IVF.

Each person is an individual case. What may work for one, may not for another. Being under weight or over weight can influence fertility. As well as what you eat, your environment, etc, etc. I remember how hard it was to hear someone say they did nothing special to get their BFP and to relax. Although they meant well, it usually made me feel terrible. I think the most important thing I did was to try to stay positive and not give up. And that was very hard by the time the two year mark rolled around. I wanted to continue to try every avenue we could to get a little one.

I hope you soon get your sticky BFP. I know how heartbreaking this whole experience can be.


Posted by BlessedMommyKat

Andrea (HisWill)

Thank you for addressing my thoughts on being overweight... I commend you for being so lean. What did you do to lose the weight so nicely? I find myself worrying about not eating properly for ttc and it becomes a downward spiral for me. Do you have any suggestions? I'm at the point where I am willing to try anything.

My RE says I am quote, "full of eggs" he counted 13-14 follicles on each of my ovaries and didn't think my weight was hurting me (but I cannot help but wonder) I am way heavier than when I was pregnant the first time. I remember being 6 weeks pregnant and 134. Now I'm not pregnant and I'm almost 200 pounds! So... my common sense says there's something to being overweight and ttc.


Posted by HisWill

Hi BlessedMommyKat,

The first thing I had to do is come to terms with my physical appearance. Since I was so young when I got pregnant the first time, my body was so "perfect"...well, 80 mg of prednisone, and subsequent chemo left me with stretch marks over 80% of my body. Additionally, when you stretch that much so quickly, there's a whole lot of baggy skin involved since prednisone causes a huge depletion in collagen.

Fortunately, I knew God brought me through that so I would give myself to Him completely. I had to be knocked upside the head a bit. Nearly losing my life at such a young age, made me very realistic about what life is about. I believe life is about serving Jesus Christ-"this thorn in my side is but a mere affliction.". I think God wants us to take care of our bodies, but not let them enslave us. I will never look like I did before hand, but I can do my best, you know?

So, I started some good vitamins, and began first walking and then jogging on the treadmill. I am really active will all the kids, but that was never enough. I had to really reduce my calories and fats, add in Omega's like fish oil, and simply eat better and eat less. Since I already cook all of our meals, and we eat healthfully, it's really just eating less and exercising more that did it. I added in tons of water, and a couple of cheap beginners Pilates videos.

There is a place of comfort with knowing everything in your life is in His hands. Knowing that my body has been an earthen vessel for His glory is all that matters. I am sure I'll have 6 months or so of hard work after this baby, but I won't starve myself to reduce my work later. All healthy and I'm sure I'll be looking at another 50+ lb weight gain!

I wish you the absolute best. So many are correct that you can do everything right and still not become pregnant, or you can be eating fast food all the time and not paying attention and you conceive. This is because it's in God's timing.

However, working towards the goal is very commendable, and very good for your overall health!

Blessings!

Andrea



Posted by BlessedMommyKat

Andrea... did you say chemo?

You are inspiring on so many levels. I thank you for your honesty and your testimony. I know some people take offense here, but not I. I am a believer and I am encouraged by your words... thank you.


Posted by Mary-MI

"I wish you the absolute best. So many are correct that you can do everything right and still not become pregnant, or you can be eating fast food all the time and not paying attention and you conceive. This is because it's in God's timing."

Let me get this straight.. you think that if God wants you to be pregnant, it will happen, no matter what we do? Then why have a TR???? If its his will, wouldn't you become pregnant with tied tubes???

I so wished we could have one post on here without religion being used as the answer to the question that someone has posted, looking for help.


Posted by klinger13

I have to agree with Mary-MI's last statement. This thread started out with people giving their great responses to the question asked, then completely morphed into a religious thread.

I really feel that I have the right to come to this board to read questions, answers, & advice, without feeling that I stepped into a religious message board. It can really make people (self included) very uncomfortable. Can we keep that in mind when responding so all can enjoy and find help from these boards, regardless of our belief system?

Thank you.
Amanda


Posted by angelsbaby629

Jan,
I thought your name looked familliar. I have been here since 2000 and had TR done 2002. After we had no bfp's by the 3rd month after TR I went to the dr and begged for clomid. It worked, 4months after TR we got pg with Gabriella. ofcourse we bd'd every day(sometimes 2x's and he was lovin that [Wink] ) then when Gabby was 6m we decided to try again. This time it wasnt so easy..it took us over 2 years and all the RE could say was it was unexplained infertility. we did 4 rounds of IUI, 1 incomplete(thanks to insurance) round of IVF that turned into a heavily medicated IUI cycle. clomid for 6 months, wait, 7 months, 3 of them with triggers. and countless medication, by mouth and injects. Then I gave up and decided that we were only meant to have Gabby. oh, i forgot we also had 2 hsg's to make sure my tubes were still open. out of the blue we got Preggers with Natalie-Jean.
This time i was trying to aviod (but no bc) getting pg and wham, it happened. not planned, but always welcomed.
I am so very sorry you are going through this. I still say I was taught a lesson of patients while trying to get pg with Natalie. either way. good luck hun and agian, I am sorry you're going through this mess. just remember, there IS a
light at the end of the tunnel. Jess


Posted by mama12

The best advice I can give, I've had 3 pregnancies in 1 year, lost 2 and am now nearing 4 months pregnant with this one.
I took vitamins all the way through, simple, just Flintstones complete. Made DH take them too.
Which regardless I've taken them for years just to make sure I'm healthy so even that isn't any different. I talk calcium too, everyday.
I didn't OPK, didn't temp, didn't chart. We just did it when I knew I was O'ing, felt like I was Oing. CD 10-14 of a 28 day cycle, that's it.
We NEVER stressed it, never got obssessed. Like Tanya says it didn't help her, I knew it wouldn't help me, even in Dr. Berger's office, he tried to tell me about OPK and charting I told him I won't do it, so lets just get this surgery done! If it's going to happen it will. Which is pretty much when I felt like it, I'm in the mood at O time naturally. Just take it easy and don't worry, don't get stressed.
Let BD be what it is, you and your DH being close. Forget the technicalities. We did and it worked 3 X.
If you have regular periods you are O'ing. So don't worry!! Just have fun everything else will take care of itself.
BTW w/ the 2nd BFP I lost my right tube, so this is a 1 tube baby. It took 4 months of trying and we did it.

I do recommend help though if you have irregular periods. In that case OPK is a good idea.
For me I didn't need it I'm very regular.

I wish you luck!! Keep TTC fun!!! [Smile]
In all honesty give it a year. You'll get it!

The only unnatural thing I did was have Dr. Berger in there. That's it.


Posted by onemoretracy

I had my TR on 11/08/07. I had used FF to chart for a couple of months beofre surgery just to get a feel for my cycle. I was not always good about keeping it up though!

When the time came to actively TTC I really talked about it with my midwife. She was very helpful and positive. She recommended the HSG and I had that done in March. Also I took Clomid (50mg) that cycle. I had taken it to concieve for my previous pregnancy (pre-TL and TR) As it turns out, one of my tubes is blocked, but that same cycle I had the HSG and also began the Clomid we concieved. I also took pre-natals and baby asprin daily (DH took this as well). I did give up caffeine too.

As far as timing, we were not stressing about it. We Bd about every other day from cd 10-20. I think I o'd that cycle around day 16, but I am not sure bc I wasn't charting, just keeping an eye on mucus changes and mood changes etc.

Good luck with your TTC and remember to have fun and enjoy each other! Now I am in the 3rd trimester, my DH is remembering those back to those good old days of TTC, lol!

~Tracy
EDD 12/22/08


Posted by TrulyBlessed

America is blessed with a great variety of people - we should celebrate that instead of always looking for something to jump down another's throat. And we are also blessed with many freedoms - one being religion, whether you want it, practice it or not - faith comes in many varieties. But maybe you should question why the mention of God "offends" you. No one is saying anything other than what they believe - you can choose to believe or not but just as you have the right to ignore we have the right to proclaim.

Now the people who try to shove it forcefully down your throat are a bit offensive - even me, a christian, will admit to that - because Jesus himself did not force his teachings on people. But just remember - for those of you who get "offended" by the talk of God - there are just as many of us who are out there that find the encouraging words of our fellow christians a balm in rough times. And yes, God can do all things but it was not him that made fertility impossible - it was her choice of TL that did. He gives us 100% control over our bodies, but that also means we suffer the concequences if we do not treat them right.

HisWill, you are very encouraging for us who are out there that are not "offended". I think you are very brave for standing up for your faith, even when people complain about it - because in the end you are not hurting anyone with your words, negativity in this world is rapant and I hope that one day when I get to do my TR and announce my pregnancy that there will be people like you still around that will praise and rejoice with me and my family.

Sorry that this is so long but it really just aggrevates me when people want to "shut down" a positive thing - last time I checked, true christians were not unhappy, negative people - even in the most dire circumtances.


Posted by HisWill

Yes Blessed, I had chemo.

Mary, I'm sorry you take offense. It isn't religion, it's Jesus Christ. No, I wouldn't become pregnant with tied tubes because I circumvented the will of God by tying off His blessings. Not the answer you wanted, but the one I believe.

There are lots of posts on this forum that don't deal with any bit of faith. I'm sure they will offer you more of what you want to hear.

I'm praying for blessings for every lady of the board, whether they personally offend me or not.

Blessings!

Andrea


Posted by momto10

Andrea, this is why I don't post much anymore. Faith and belief...religion whatever anyone wants to call it is so much a part of every opinion I have and every aspect of any help I have to offer that there is NO possible way I could write without refering to Christin some way. But as in many things in life offense to Christian religion is harped and therefore Christian religion is suspressed BUT if the roles were turned and I was prasing Budda, nobody would say a word. I guess I'll never understand why Christian support and comfort is attacked.

So if my way of speaking and my way of showing comfort to my TR sisters is NOT welcomed then..... I guess it's time for me to leave.

This entire forum was here for SUPPORT and COMFORT. If you need medical advice, hire a doctor!

Gwen


Posted by LIZZYpooh

Hello Ladies......I thank everyone of you who trust and believe God for your miracles...since He is the only one that gives life...i will always be trusting him...yes he could have caused me to get pregnant without a tr ...but faith without works is dead...if this board allowed all types of fussing and cussing some people wouldn't be offended with that at all...I am one that is not charting or any of that I am going to keep practicing with dh and will happen when God says so....I'm in love with Jesus and he is in love me.....


Posted by MOMZILLA

I am not a religious person. I was raised Catholic but do not practice. I know many people who are church-goers and still do bad harmful things to people. Likewise, I know many folks who do not attend mass (organized religion) and are very good people who have their own faith in God and serve in their own way. We need to be tolerant of each otther, no matter what our faith or beliefs. I, too, do not like it when people "push" their religion or beliefs on me. That being said, I do not think that is anyone's intent here. People go on this journey for different reasons (ptls vs TTC) and we all go through it in our own ways, taking comfort in words of others, support of family, medical advice or religion. I know it can be frustrating being on this journey that is such a hard struggle for many..it is hard to hear women say it is simply up to God when many are riding a roller coaster of meds, herbs, tests ,kits, temps, and all kinds of interventions. It is a very emotional and personal journey but we need to remember we are all individuals with different beliefs and perspectives and we need to respect our differences and still be there to offer whatever kind of support we can based on our own journies in life. Again, while I do not practice religion I believe in God and believe we just need to be there for each other. When my father in law was dying of prostate cancer I got pregnant unexpectedly (BC failure).I truly believe we were given a gift from God here. Though he was dying we had a wonderful new baby coming. It is unfortunate that he passed 10 weeks before I delivered but it was a positive thing for the family in a very sad time...Again, I am not religious but I still believe this was God's way of giving us happiness and a new focus in the midst of such a great loss. For me, I try to offer advice here based on my experiences in child-bearing and living with PTLS but not through a religious voice or persepctive. I find no fault in those who ride their faith through this journey and share from that view point. As long as nobody is trying to convert me (LOL) I am ok with everyone expressing their feelings and beliefs here. Try to remember why we are here..to help each other from our individual experiences and perspectives. If you do not care for a particular perspective..then feel free to disregard and move on to another post from yet a different perspective..This is a hard journey...let's not make it more stressful and hard on each other by taking offense where none is intended...We are all here to help because we care.

Tracy


Posted by momto10

Tracey it is just human nature to resort to the explaination of God's Will, when herbs, medicine, creams, surgeries, and IUI all fail. Humans throughout history have looked for reason when our methodes fail. I don't uderstand why that is so offensive. No-one has said you have to be Catholic or you that you have be believe what any of us say...

I will just never understand why words that are meant to offer comfort are so bad.... I know that these types of words comfort me. I want peopel to use them when speaking to me. I am sterile after TR....9 months post TR and NO positives..... It hurts me that maybe God doesn't will for me to have more....BUT... I find comfort in knowingthat maybe it's not my fault, maybe I just don't have 100% control over that part of my life. I not only find it comforting BUT it also relieves my guilt and my anxiety over trying.

Almost ALL "support" groups uses some sort of surrender to a higher power, AA, OA, and many secular mental health professionals instruct people to focus on ones "spiritual-self" in order to relieve stress. Heck Oprah even talks about it all the time... Not that I put too much Faith in her, she isn't fair off the pulse of America.

To everyone who has a problem with these type of words of advice/comfort; What would you prefer we say to offer comfort? Should we be just like you? Should we parrot your thoughts and advice? WHy is my advice any less important? Why, can't I jsut offer my advice and be ignored, when my advice/comfort isn't welcomed? How are we supposed to know who wants that kind of support and who doesn't? Should this forum become so politically correct that even herbs and homeopathey, should be discluded, afterall, science can't prove that either?

Maybe we should jsut have some Socialistic rules guiding our everyword, only saving what the powers that be would say... The who desides who the powers that be are? When I spoke to Dr. B and told him that I was just having the surgery to be Open to God's Will he didn't judge me. He accepted me with love and kindness, despite the fact that all I could do was talk about God and the TL being the BIGGEST mistake I've ever made.

Signed Gwen <who is compeltely baffled by why these words offend. If someone believes something else they can say, please don't talk about God around me. I would say, OK and I would make an effort to not do it again.


Posted by MOMZILLA

Gwen, I was addressing those who feel it is "offensive" when folks mention God. I do not agree with that..That was the point of me saying there is no "intent" here to preach, etc. I was not sure, from your response, if you thought I was expressing an issue with that. My point is that we all bring our individual prespectives here and we should not get offended or make that more stressful for each other. We need more tolerance and support and less worrying about where the advice originates. We are who we are and should not apologize for that, but we should support one another in this journey, despite our differences...

Tracy



Posted by momto10

OHHHH, gotcha MOMZILLA. Sorry. BTW, I love you screen name.

Gwen


Posted by MOMZILLA

Thanks. My screen name sort of reflected what I became with PTLS....I was so unhealthy, isolated, short-termpered and miserable..I lost the joy in being a mother to my 3 kids..I felt I became this evil Momzilla rather than just plain Mommy..I am so relieved to be back to my old self again after TR...I feel so badly for some of the women here who try so hard to get pregnant and stay that way. I was lucky to have the 3 kids I have without too much trouble.. I have had 3 m/cs in my life-time and 3 healthy kids. I am blessed to have them!

Tracy


Posted by LuceFamily

umm... so about those BFP's...

Lets get to the reason this forum is here... regardless of what our individual beliefs may be this board is intended to offer support to one another. So maybe we dont all have the same faith in common, but one thing we do have in common is that we have all struggled with the heartache and turmoil of having gone though a TL and wanting more than anything to have another child. I think there is always something we can learn from each other, lets take what we need from each others post here on the boards... and what we dont like or dont agree with, just move on. Come on guys, this is silly. Let support each other in our journey making children, not acting like children.



Posted by Mary-MI

Peach, I have only had one BFP that ended in E/P. Months prior I had an HSG, and my only tube was opened, 3 rounds of clomid, preseed and charting.

When I got my BFP, I was only charting. Now, my RE discovered I have PCOS. I am on my first cycle with Metformin, so we shall see if that works. I didn't realize how much PCOS cause infertility. Best wishes to you.


Posted by momto10

Tracy, I know what you mean about not connecting with my children..... Each onth I sem to get a little better. I seem to "enjoy" my maritail relations again as well. I really feel like my whole life is coming back into order. This month is only my second "normal" month, and I am 9 months post TR..... So, who knows, I feel like I still have time.

I have had 6 Biologocal living children, 4 m/c before TL, and 4 step children. ALL are Blessings, even if I never conceive another baby, "MY" TR was very much worth it!

Gwen


Posted by MOMZILLA

OK..so I have no intention of have a TR baby ( I am 43) but I got my pre-TL BFPs by ...child #1: did nothing and got PG within 3 months..child #2)..had 2 m/cs two months in a row and did some temping and clearplan monitor thing but still took 1 year to get pg.. child #3: not trying but had bc fail us resulting in a wonderful gift of a baby boy who turns 4 in March and tells me "Mommy I love you" every day..

Tracy


Posted by Iluvrsp

If your tubes are blocked when you have the surgery done does that mean that you cannot get pregnant? Also when you have the TR done do you just let nature take it's course or do you have to do something else? I am new to this and just trying to learn before then time comes to have the TR done..


Posted by Tanya from VA

iluvsrp - The point of the TR surgury is to put your tubes back together so you can conceive in a more "natural" or pre-ligation way. If your tubes become blocked then you can not conceive after TR (the old fashion way). You would need to seek IVF or another fertility treatment.

My comments about doing nothing were in no way to meant to say "relax, it will happen". In my case I did almost everything for a year, and we took a month off mostly because we were moving and I simply didn't have time to chart, temp, OPK, ect. It was one of only two months that I didn't do anything.

As far as the the God/religion talk, to each their own. I agree it's hard after months and months of ttc and frustration to hear it's as simple as turning it over to God. You want to know why your being forsaken. What is the plan he has for you? Why this loving giving God throws miscarriage or blocked tubes at you, when others conceieve and have a child with no problems? I felt that way many times, especially after my loss at 10 weeks with twins. It was completely devestating, and I'm not sure I've come back around yet. Just when I felt I was getting past most of it, my dad died unexpectly on April 26th - three weeks before Carly was born in May of this year.

Religious encouragement doesn't offend me, but it's not always easy for those who are struggling with this rollercoaster of ttc to embrace something that is suppose to be comforting when they truly are heartbroken and searching for answers. I'm sure it's actually as simple as that, not some deep seeded anti-religious sentiment.

Best of luck to all.

Tanya


Posted by Iluvrsp

So what blockage means is that after you have TR done your tubes can become blocked?


Posted by Tanya from VA

Absolutely they can become blocked. One or both can become blocked for several reasons. They can heal up and get blocked or they can get blocked with debris.

Chapel Hill has a statistic - not sure of the number - but it is a possibility you should be aware of.

Best of luck!

Tanya
TR 9-7-06
Carly 5-13-08


Posted by MOMZILLA

Tanya - That was one of my points..exactly..


Posted by mama12

Iluvrsp. It is a possiblity but the risk isn't that high.
There is a thing called an HSG where they force a dyed liquid through your tubes and do like an Xray so they can tell if your tubes are blocked.
Alot of times just getting the HSG done will clear out tubal blockages if it's just debris or tissue in there.
I wouldn't worry too much about it honestly.
The chances are pretty low, most women have at least one good open one if one is blocked.
All you need is one tube.
Getting the HSG is something you would do maybe 8 months to a year or more after TR if you haven't gotten pregnant. Most Dr.s will recommend waiting for a while see if you get pregnant. It took us a while for me to get pregnant after the EP I had, but I'm pregnant with a good one. Just passed my 1 year anniversary of TR.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Guilt And Regret Over Having Tied Tubes

Tubal Reversal surgery offers a chance for women who have changed their minds and desire more children after having their tubes tied. The message board at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center offers women a place to share their feelings and receive support from others who are experiencing feelings of regret or guilt over their decision to have their tubes tied. Fortunately, Dr. Gary Berger and Dr. Charles Monteith offer a low-cost, outpatient procedure that has given thousands of women the chance to restore their fertility and have more children as well as help in finding relief from unpleasant symptoms developed after undergoing tubal ligation.

This is topic Guilt and regret after tubal ligation in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by Dr. Monteith (Member # 11996) on September 24, 2008 09:21 AM:
Our new blog discusses common reasons patients have shared with us as to why they have regretted their tubal ligation: Guilt or regret after tubes tied Please share your story on the message board if you have had such an experience.

Posted by MyAngel112706 (Member # 12279) on September 24, 2008 10:58 AM:
I very much regret My TL. Nine short months after my TL my DD so sadly passed away. We were devastated. I thought when I had the TL done I was making the right decision because my family was complete because I had my 2 boys and now my little girl. I regret that decision now more than anything but I have corrected that decision with my TR in march of this year. I have not had a BFP as of yet but I have time, I am only 30. I feel it will happen when my mind and my body is ready. Thanks so much.

Posted by Brandon, ST (Member # 9908) on September 24, 2008 10:59 AM:
This should be a very interesting thread. I would be interested to see how many people have come to their decision of having a tubal ligation reversal.
Brandon,ST

Posted by Flutist29 (Member # 12785) on September 24, 2008 11:29 AM:
I strongly regret having my TL. At the time, I experienced a troublesome pregnancy and my OB at that time, scared me into having more children. I don't know why I listened to her, but I did. Now 3.5 years later, I am scheduled for my reversal on 10/8/08. I am looking forward to having 'normal' cycles again and praying that if it is God's will, we will get pregnant again.

Posted by MOMZILLA (Member # 12256) on September 24, 2008 11:39 AM:
If I had to do it all over again I would never have the TL. I could have saved myself 3 years of PTLS misery, angst, doctor visits and the near collapse of my marriage....I am so grateful the the TR has resolved all my symptoms and given me my life back..I tell everyone who mentions it not to have a TL or to give it serious consideration (understanding the potential physical complications before they do it). Tracy

Posted by albmdb (Member # 12062) on September 24, 2008 11:44 AM:
I had tl in 12/98 after the birth of my son. No problems durning preg, however my husband then was very abusive, mental,physical,emotional. I really wanted more kids later on but not with him, so i had tl. yes i really regreted but i always thought i would never be able to get away from him so that is why i had tl done, before my son turn 1year old he left me for a much younger girl, she was 18 and i was 21 with 2 kids, she had none. that was my chance to move away, i did and got my life changed and met the man of my dreams, he had no kids and always treated my kids as his own. we dated 3 years and then i finally married him in 2003. I am so happy and so are my children, my children have not seen there real father and they dont care too. They are only 9 and 12. So now i have tr and we are trying for a baby and my children are so happy, they both said they cant wait to be the big brother/sister.We also talked to them before we had the tr done and they was please to know mom could have a new baby some day.
My tr was 4/7/08 and no bfp yet and my cycles have been way off, around 38 to 40 days.
SO yes i really regreted doing tl.

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 24, 2008 12:00 PM:
What is interesting to me, is that often the association between guilt and symptoms is used to explain physiological symptoms following TL. When I first began having bad symptoms, very soon after TL, I didn't even regret the decision yet. I was convinced it was "for the best". My symptoms went on for months and months, until I began praying and crying about what I had done... So, my question (and I've answered this for myself on a personal/spiritual level) was did the symptoms CAUSE me to begin to realize and regret what I had done, since they came first? My TL was necessary to change my heart to understand what God had given me, and that what I had done (for me and my family) was wrong! I decided on the TL absent of my faith in God, and against my husband and doc's recommendations! So, once I realized what I had done, and that it would cost my family 7k for a trip to repair it, it hit me very hard. I'm thankful I had the TL because through it, I learned that large families, and children in general are the tool that God is using in me to mold me to what He wants me to be...had I not had it, I would be pregnant another time or two, and maybe I would view these additional children as blessings but burdensome, since my heart needed the change in many ways to ensure that my faith was complete. **Oh, and to touch on the blog, no pastor told me that my TL was "against God's will". This was something very personal between me, God and my husband. No pastor is in our bedroom-only Christ dwells there. I'm not religious, so it isn't about "rules" of do's and dont's. I'm saved by Christ, so for me, it was about the Holy Spirit working in a way to change my heart about this particular subject, just as He has in other ways-no rules. I don't believe you have to have lots of kids to be a Christian! If we never had another, I know my heart and so does God..this is a personal heart change of faith.** Blessings, Andrea

Posted by Jennifer K. (Member # 7884) on September 24, 2008 12:14 PM:
I may be unique in that I don't regret having my TL. At the time it was the right decision for me and I had no way of knowing how my life would change. I am grateful that I found CH and Dr. Berger who was able to give me what I needed when it came to the TR. I now have a beautiful daughter and I know that everything that came before, including my TL and TR, was so I could eventually have her in my life. Jenn

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 24, 2008 12:20 PM:
I love your perspective JenniferK! That's exactly how I feel. Of course, I do wish I would have fully considered it with prayer before hand...but I do believe we must often go through bad things to open our eyes or to end up where we need to be!God Bless and congrats on having the baby you so wanted! Andrea

Posted by RebeccaJ (Member # 12216) on September 24, 2008 12:26 PM:

I had my tl right after my dd was born nearly 13 years ago. I didn't regret it at first, but within a year and our situation changed, then I regretted it.
We had the tl for financial reasons and very selfish reasons on my part. I smoked and could not take birth control and I was not aware of other methods, (shot etc.) until after the fact. (I have quit smoking since this time) I was also pressured by my mother and husband who informed me that four was enough.
In addition, I had lost a baby just prior to conceiving my dd. My husband was worried something would happen to me.
The sad part was, I was only 32 years old. I am now 45, had my tr this past July. If God blesses us then we are open to a blessing, if our time came and went then at least I will be relieved of my post ligation symptoms. I watched my sister get her tubal a few months after I had my daughter, (she had to have an emergency c-section and they let me go in with her). If you ever see this, you would never get a tl. God Bless Rebecca
TR 07/28/08

Posted by Amy1234 (Member # 5192) on September 24, 2008 01:02 PM:
Mine was a divorce and remarriage to a man with no children that got me searching the net. We have one together and are ttc #2, then I will have another tl. I am so glad we had tr as an option to allow us to complete our family together. Amy
TR Baby 5/31/07
TR #2...hopefully soon

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 24, 2008 02:00 PM:
I had regret not long after because my body started acting up.I wanted something done before I even meet my now husband.My TL was done when I had a c-section with my last child.At the time and being with my first husband having no more children was the right thing. If I had not felt so bad I would not have thought about a TR. I am now remarried to a great man with no children of his own. But I will tell any that even if I never get blessed with another child, doing away with PTLS was wroth it all to me. I feel like myself again and my DH loves it because we get out more and have fun now. Before I felt to bad through out my cycle to where I did not even want to leave the house. Miranda

Posted by Flutist29 (Member # 12785) on September 24, 2008 02:09 PM:
I agree with the PTLS! My experience has been horrible since my TL. My poor DH has had to see me be in pain and deal with ME during it all for the last 3.5 years. I'm looking forward to relief myself. Getting pregnant is a desire, but we are turning that over to God.

Posted by Tanya from VA (Member # 9507) on September 24, 2008 02:44 PM:
My situation is a bit different than many here, but similar as well. I had my TL in 2000 after the birth of my second child. My dh and I were both working-full time outside the home, and finances were as crunched as they can be. We had one of each, and we were saving for our first single-family home. Neither of us liked birth control much - as married people we just found it tedious and unnecessary so we opted for the TL. We never could have forseen the time when finances changed, and original desire I had for three children would be become within our means both financially and being able to be at home full-time. I had moments of deep regret but mostly because other circumstances made our decision vs. us making it because we were complete. I didn't have daily regrets, I was not emotionally wrecked - just a longing and the occasional ache for something that I knew couldn't be. When I found CH - it was a dream come true. I'd never even heard of having it reversed! I couldn't get there fast enough. It didn't take long, and we were in CH getting it done. And while we had some ups and downs (one chemical, one loss at 10 weeks) we eventually welcomed our first TR baby in May 08. During the pg we had many long honest conversations about after and all the factors: the long emotional journey ttc, our ages, the age differences in our children - we agreed our family was going to be complete. There were some medical concerns but those aside - I would have re-ligated my tubes anyway. I'm 37 next month, I have three children and my life is very full. I know my limitations, and with the tools we have - we can raise these three within our means, still save, still enjoy our lives and give our children as much as we can. I have no regrets NOW, but I've never experienced PTLS or any other physical issues. After my first ligation I would get teary on occasion watching A Baby Story or seeing a pregnant lady, now I'm so over baby stuff it's a 180 change. Like everyone - I'm eternally grateful to CH for helping us have another child and completing our family. But I always expected to have my tubes re-tied - and have no regret at all. BFP's to all!

Posted by Kathy, ST (Member # 8285) on September 25, 2008 08:03 AM:

The expression of emotion from each of these stories creates a great support system for those women with this shared experience, whether it be tubal ligation, tubal reversal or both.
Kathy

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 08:19 AM:
Flutist29 I know what you mean. I saw your big day is October the 8th. That is my birthday. I will truly be thinking of you on that day and saying prayers for you. I wish you all the best. It is funny too that we both live in NC. Tanya from VA your story is a great one that reminds us we never know how things will go. I wish you all the best. Miranda
ME-27
DH-22
DS-8
DD-4
TR-3/24/08

Posted by Eric'sGirl (Member # 10652) on September 25, 2008 10:31 AM:
Jennifer K... kudos to you for such a positive spin on the situation. Mine - a story that has been and will be told (UNFORTUNATELY) time and time again. A bad, abusive relationship... two babies back to back (blessed with a girl and a boy) and knowing I was leaving "some day" - couldn't risk another pregnancy. Dr. was going to do clips because I was so young. I said he had to do the "traditional" cut and burn... or I would catch hell at home for having something "removable." It could only mean I was planning to leave and start over again someday. TL Dr. went above and beyond the call of duty on that one! But Dr. B to the rescue! He pulled off some fancy work in there! No regrets, NOW! Through it all, I have meet some of the most amazing people: a doctor and a staff unparalleled any where on this planet, an amazing support group of women I will never meet and my October '07 girls... some of the best friends a girl could want. So, Jennifer K, I have come to your way of thinking. It all happens for a reason. One year TR anniversary is coming up... still no Berger Baby - yet, my life has been blessed one thousand times over by this whole journey! Thank you CHTRC staff! Chrissy

Posted by justnotme (Member # 12842) on September 25, 2008 11:11 AM:

I also now regret having a TL. I had mine 18 months ago after the birth of my 2nd child. We were blessed with a DS and DD and felt that no matter what anyways 2 children were enough for me. I had the TL because I as well did not want to have to deal with BC pills etc and figured I was having a repeat c/s so I would do then. Another factor was my age. I was 37 when I had my DD and thought gosh, I don't want to be having another one later on in life. So, after discussion with my OB about PTLS (I did research before my TL and stumbled across this website but didn\'t't really fully understand because of course I had not had it done yet) she informed me that it did not exist. Sooo, had it done. I didn't get my first AF until 6 months after my DD due to breastfeeding, but let me tell you it was a doozie!! I had never experienced something like that before. I just thought, oh well it's the first one post partum and dealt with it. Then I started noticing many more symptoms each month. So, I went searching again on the web and ended up here again. It has come full circle. PTLS does exist and that is why I am having the TR. To add to HisWill questioning whether the guilt or symptoms brought on the regret. For me it was the symptoms then the regret came. After reading about PTLS and it's affects on women, I then felt really BROKEN. I am now not only on a quest to feel better but to feel whole. I have a lot of faith in GOD and definitely feel like He led me back here so I need to do what I know in my heart I need to do. Not only for me but the health and well being of my family. My TR is scheduled for Oct 29th and I am sooooo excited to have it done. I am so glad the we have the Dr.s and staff at CH to help us all heal for whatever reasons we did this for. Thank you all for letting me share my story with you and I enjoyed reading all of yours. Lisa

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 25, 2008 11:24 AM:
Lisa that's a great story. I pray the very best for you! I agree with you about symptoms first helping to lead to a feeling of being broken. It bothers me when the reverse is associated...like because we are sad we can't have children, suddenly our bodies are sick. I didn't even REALIZE I had regret until the symptoms of PTLS kept bludgeoning me. God Bless! Andrea

Posted by gotthebabybug (Member # 12913) on September 25, 2008 11:37 AM:
I want to share my experience with TL. I had 2 little ones and divorced my husband. It was a bad situation and I had to get out of that home. I was 14 hours away from family and wanted to stay in the area because of the children. Even if me and their father didn't get along it was no excuse for moving across the country. I stayed and ex remarried and our relationship changed. I actually consider his wife one of my closest friends, strange I know. So that leads my to baby number three. I started a relationship with a co worker big mistake. We eventually moved in together and I thought everything was peachy. He had a daughter from a previous marriage and he just adored her. I mean I never saw a man just love a child so much. He was also good with my boys, taking them out fishing all the time. A year into the relationship we discussed having a child of our own. Well the mere thought of it and bingo bango I was PG. Morning sickness was horrible and a month or 2 into it he tells me he is leaving and he wants me to have an abortion. My ex and his wife took me and the boys in for awhile because I was so sick and in shock. I actually had a discussion about abortion because I was just lost and didn't know what to do. Then I thought to hell with him I can do this on my own. He realized that this baby was coming like it or not. We managed to remain friendly and he went to child birth classes with me and was there for delivery. His mom was there too. He wanted baby to have his last name and I agreed not thinking things through - to hormonal. Anyway during the pregnancy I decided that all men were evil and it was best that I not having anymore children. He brought me and baby home from the hospital and never came around again. I called and asked for some help with support and wanting him in her life. He said he would give me $50.00 a month! I was in college and didn't want to take him to court so I agreed. Well he would call me and say I am in the parking lot come and get your money. Not once did he ask to see her. I called one night and asked for a little extra because I was low on diapers. He showed up with a check and stood in front of me and ripped it in half. What a man. I cried I didn't know what I was going to do. He said take me to court if you want the money. So I did and guess what he said it wasn't his. I think he did this to drag out the process. We had to take a paternity test and viola 99.9% his. This was almost a 2 year process. I finally started getting money and he quit his job, go figure. He then said he wanted visitation just to make me miserable not because he wanted anything to do with this child. I was financially comfortable at this point and really didn't need his money. I told him I will drop all child support if you agree to stay away. He didn't want this child and I didn't want her in an environment that was not good for her. She will be 8 next month and DH is the only daddy she has ever known. He would like to do a step parent adoption but I have fear of contacting her biological father. I did actually sit down and talk to her about him a few weeks ago. I have pictures and video of him at the birth and I want her to know about him. Anyway I know this is a long post. I have matured over the years and I had TL for all of the wrong reasons. I regret it and it has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am grateful to have found this site and look forward to my TR. Going through this has made me a strong woman who will stand up for what is right. I have faith that this will all work out for me and a baby will bless our family. Kim

Posted by KimSmi (Member # 7996) on September 25, 2008 11:43 AM:
Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back. I am another person who never regretted my TL. I had it when married to my ex and if I hadn't, we might have had more children together. Though I would not trade my kids for the world, it is best that he and I did not have any others together. I had TR in 2005 and we (me and my current DH) gave 2.5 yrs of our lives to TTC. We made a wholehearted effort to have a baby together. Lots of life changes happened in 2.5 years and we decided we did not want to expand the size of our family, so DH had a vasectomy in January this year. Still no regrets. Each choice we've made has been right for that time in life. Best to everyone.
Kim
TL 5/1999
TR 6/2005
DH-V 1/2008

Posted by jessicad (Member # 12914) on September 25, 2008 12:03 PM:
KimSmi - I really enjoyed reading your post and your statement "Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back." That really says a lot. I too really have no regrets from getting my TL. Granted, now we're considering the possibility of having a TR, but at the time the TL was what we wanted. Maybe we could have chosen a less "permanent" option, but hey! we did what we felt was right. We never know what the future holds for us.

Posted by hpygrl (Member # 12861) on September 25, 2008 12:38 PM:

I chose to have my TL because I was married to an abusive man and could not imagine bringing another child into that.(I would not change having my DS and DD from that relationship though) But at the time I was not sure that I would survive everything that I was going through and my ex was looking for another reason to tie me to relatioship longer...and he thought another child was it. Any way, this could drag out for ever so I will cut it short. I chose to have my TL with no support from him. My sister was by my side the whole time and supported me more than I could have ever imagined. My GYN did try to talk me into something less permanent, but I was afraid my ex would take that as a sign that I may be planning to leave him one day since he all ready knew I did think that us having more children was a good idea. I did not regret my decision at all until I met a wonderful man and he asked me to marry him. He has no children of his own and initially we were fine with the idea of not having children together. Well, now that time has passed and we have both changed our mind about that I have scheduled my TR for Oct. 27. We are looking forward to TTC and will hopefully be bringing a little one into our family soon!

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 12:48 PM:
gotthebabybug
What a touching story. I am so glad to hear that good or bad you have learned to stand up for what is right. The is what truly learning from your life is. My DH would like to adopt my 2 kids as well. But like you I am not ever looking forward to facing my ex about it all.I wish you all the best as you do what is right for your family. Miranda
TR-3/24/08

Posted by gotthebabybug (Member # 12913) on September 25, 2008 01:21 PM:
Its funny how all of the bad things I went through I some how managed to turn into a positive in my life now. At the time I would never have thought I would be in such a good place in my life. I have been blessed. I am a fighter and I always pull myself back to the top. If I don't get the chance to have another baby I will be fine with that. There are other avenues out there you just gotta look.Kim

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 08:05 PM:
Kim that is so true. I tell everyone, "nothing you want in this life is going to come easy". You have to be a fighter. I wish you all the best and will be praying for you. Miranda

Posted by tjsncj (Member # 12135) on September 26, 2008 07:24 PM:
I do not regret my TL either. I was married at 17 had 3 kids by age 22 and had the TL during the c-section of my last baby. I had always wanted only 3 kids plus they said my uterus was thin and shouldn't have any more so I had the TL. Fast forward 17 years later and me ex left us for a snotty biotch. He definetely deserved what you got, she's a peach and makes him sleep in the basement. Two years later I remarried a younger man that had no children. The whole time after the TL I had no desire to have any more children but after I met him that was the only thing I wanted more than anything - giving him a child. Even though I hadn't wanted anymore I couldn't bear to live with myself if I was the reason he never had children. So we decided to have the TR and if it worked then it was meant to be. It apparently was meant to be because I had my TR on 9-7-05 and had a baby boy on 4-28-07. He came 6 weeks early on his daddy's 32nd birthday. It was rough adjusting to a baby again. My other kids were 21, 19 and 16 at the time. Of course they adore him and just seeing the way DH looks at his son makes it all worth it. I had another TL in October 2007 and I have not regretted that TL either. Good luck to all those that are TTCing. Like JenniferK, I think the journney I am on happened for a reason and he is now clomping around the house in his new shoes, dragging his blanket behind him where ever he goes. JoAnn

Posted by melissa29 (Member # 12929) on September 26, 2008 08:33 PM:
hi everyone i got my TL only seven years ago after my forth child and now im remarried and my husband loves my kids like his own but he really would like one of his own.