Choosing The Best Tubal Reversal Surgery Doctor

After researching tubal reversal doctors and sending her tubal ligation records for review, a member of the Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center Message Board discusses her journey to choose the best tubal reversal surgeon to perform her reverse tubal ligation. Women who have chosen Dr. Gary Berger or Dr. Charles Monteith as their tubal reversal doctor discuss the events that led them to choose Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center and travel to North Carolina for surgery and describe their experience to potential patients. Dr. Berger is widely known as the most experienced tubal reversal doctor. He has performed more successful tubal reversals - resulting in the birth of more tubal reversal babies - than any doctor worldwide.

This is topic Need Help Making a Choice-PLEASE.. in forum Preparing for Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

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Posted by darkfeary474 June 09, 2009 04:34 PM:
Hi Ladies!!!
I know it has been a long time sense I have posted on here and I am sorry for that!!!... but I am still on my journey to get my TR done, It's just with the research that I have been doing I am just not sure as to what direction I want to go,.... here is my problem.. - when I first started my search for a TR doctor, Dr. Berger was the first Doctor that I ran into on the net and he has already seen my post-Op report and said that I am a good candidate for the TR.... but I have sense ran into on my search another Doctor .. Whom I wont mention here out of respect for Dr. berger of coarse , but my problem is I am just not sure who to go with it this is driving me CRAZY!!!! .. can anyone possibly give me some insight or advice?... its not just a price thing either I am thinking of my Safety and health also , like one of my questions is if something was to happen out of the ordinary while getting the TR and an emergency occurred how would that be handled? is there an emergency room or area at Chapel Hill?
Thanks SOOO much For all the Insight that I can get.. I need this info kind of soon. as our funds will be coming threw soon!!
Dana W From Ohio.

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Posted by alwayshope June 09, 2009 04:43 PM:
I can understand your concern but there is a hospital very close if anything were to happen but I had my done on the 29th of May and I do have heart problems and they just had me get some test done to make sure that I was cleared t have surgery and they can handle most things and I will tell you as a nursing student and working in the medical field for 13 years I freak my self out by knowing a little too much but he and his staff are very knowledgeable about what they do and I trusted them 100 percent.....but at the end of the day go with whom ever you feel confident with I hope this helped soon best of luck to you in your TR journey. Miasha

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Posted by AngieMP June 09, 2009 05:34 PM:
I believe they mentioned on the off chance that should something unexpected come up, that you would be transported to a nearby hospital. I am thinking, but don't quote me, that I was told that it only happened like 3 times in 08, and it was done for precautionary measures, not serious issues. You will be asked about your health history and anything of concern would have to be addressed before you have surgery. We traveled to NC (18 hours from home) and had complete trust in CHTRC. I would not have done it any other way. We loved the experience and would do it all over again! (yes, I really mean that)

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Posted by StephSH June 09, 2009 05:55 PM:
Hi Dana,
I too looked at other websites in my search for the right Dr for my TR, and I'm from Southern Ohio, so there was one in particular that was MUCH closer to me than NC is.
The deciding factor for me was mostly the websites. I know that seems stupid, but I decided based that the professionalism put forward in Chapel Hill's website was a good way to judge the professionalism of the practice and staff in general. I found the other website to be childish, unprofessional and it spent more time saying why you should NOT go to someone else than just simply stating why you SHOULD go to them.
Chapel Hill didn't even hint that they had any "competition" they simply state their business, and their website is classy.
Not sure if that helps, but that is how I made MY decision :-)
Steph

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Posted by cindy0714 June 09, 2009 06:00 PM:
I struggles a little bit trying to decide who to use. I have a doctor right here where I live that specializes in TR. My heart kept pulling me toward Chapel Hill so I went with it. I used Dr. Monteith and 2 months after surgery I was pregnant. I am now 11 weeks. I promise you will not receive the kind of patient care Chapel offers anywhere else. That I am sure of.

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Posted by 1forhubby&me June 09, 2009 06:11 PM:
Dana,
I also looked at other sites and decided on Chapel Hill because the "other doctor" had more negativity about everyone else and could not prove to me that he was worth the time. As for Dr Berger and staff they are always professional and willing to answer questions no matter how silly they may seem. The decision is ultimately yours if you are uneasy about anything just call and speak to the staff. Good luck on your decision and I'll keep you in my prayers. I'm scheduled for next week so I'll let you know about how I felt being face to face with everyone but looking at the posts and the conversation confirming my appointment today, I look forward to a great experience.
Tee

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Posted by darkfeary474 June 09, 2009 07:01 PM:
Thanks for all of your opinions ladies!!! it is much appreciated.
And StephSH You Make ALLOT Of Valid Points about the "Other Site" I never looked at it from that point of view but you are completely right! .. Have You had any luck conceiving yet sense getting your TR?
Dana W From Ohio.

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Posted by ismagirl June 09, 2009 07:02 PM:
Dana
I too am from Ohio (columbus)
I looked at rate my md dot com and they had very good comments one negative but it was directed to a nurse specifically and not to the doctors or chapel hill. and as you know being human you can't please everyone all the time. I went to Chapel Hill because God lead me there, plain and simple it was Gods will. I had my tr in Dec 08 and am now 6wks preggo saw heartbeat today.
Ireally think that you already want to go with chapel hill cause you are asking ladies who have nothing but good to say about them.
Ihope that no matter what you go with that all is well for you and that you follow your heart.
Shawna

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Posted by StephSH June 09, 2009 08:00 PM:
Dana,
I got one BFP the second cycle after my TR but it ended in MC about a week after I found out I was pregnant. Haven't gotten another BFP since then, but I'm starting Clomid this month, both tubes are open, and I have very regular cycles, so I'm hoping that it will happen soon. I have short tubes, 3.5 on each side and that is probably what's causing the delay.
What part of Ohio are you in? I'm in Western Ross Co.

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Posted by pkubes68 June 09, 2009 08:11 PM:
darkfeary474
CH told me IF you needed some kind of ER care you would be transported to The University of North Carolina Medical Center (hospital). It isn't likely but they do let you know just in case.
When I found CH on the internet I just knew that was the place to go. I'm so glad I did and I have no regrets. Go with your gut instinct. Good Luck.

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Posted by Julia, RN June 09, 2009 10:02 PM:
Thanks to each of you for the helpful posts (and very nice comments)! In the unlikely event a patient needs hospitalization, we do have a transfer agreement with The University of North Carolina Hospitals approximately 1 mile from our facility. Dr. Berger and Dr. Monteith have both been on staff there, so we have a nice relationship...if needed. All of our nurses are ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) certified and we have only board certified MD's. As some of you know based on the testing we have asked for pre-operatively, we err on the side of caution and have policies and procedures in place to ensure patient safety. This occasionally means that additional testing - or a delay in surgery - is required, but it is based on our commitment to safe and professional care.
Please let us know if you have questions!
Julia S., RN

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Posted by darkfeary474 June 09, 2009 10:31 PM:
Thanks Steph Again . and sorry to here about your MC, I hope the clomid helps ya!
Also Thank You Julia for your info on - just in case there is an emergency , wow I didn't realize that the hospital was only 1 mile away from CHTRC that in itself sets my mind at ease,
I do not have any kind of major medical problems so that shouldn't be a problem the only problem I do have which isn't to much of a problem now is, I am a Type 2 Diabetic but have my Diabetes under complete control with an A1C level of 5.3 which my Doctor told me is at Non-Diabetic Levels!!!! Whoohooo... I have worked hard to get where I am at right now and in turn have also lost 66pounds in the process ).. the only medication I am taking right now is Metformin.
As of now my husband and I have talked over and it looks like we will be going with Dr. Berger for my TR!.... so I will be getting in contact and finding out what is left for me to do.. )
Thanks Again!!!!
Dana

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Posted by darkfeary474 June 09, 2009 10:32 PM:
Thanks Steph Again . and sorry to here about your MC, I hope the clomid helps ya!
Also Thank You Julia for your info on - just in case there is an emergency , wow I didn't realize that the hospital was only 1 mile away from CHTRC that in itself sets my mind at ease,
I do not have any kind of major medical problems so that shouldn't be a problem the only problem I do have which isn't to much of a problem now is, I am a Type 2 Diabetic but have my Diabetes under complete control with an A1C level of 5.3 which my Doctor told me is at Non-Diabetic Levels!!!! Whoohooo... I have worked hard to get where I am at right now and in turn have also lost 66pounds in the process .. the only medication I am taking right now is Metformin.
As of now my husband and I have talked over and it looks like we will be going with Dr. Berger for my TR!.... so I will be getting in contact and finding out what is left for me to do..
Thanks Again!!!!
Dana

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Posted by TulipGarden June 10, 2009 12:01 AM:
Dana,
I had my surgery on June 4, 2009. All I can tell you is that we traveled half way across the country, and it was well worth it. I don't think I have ever gone into surgery and felt more comfortable. They are a terrific group of people.
What steered us was the fact that Dr. Berger has a long standing history of focusing just on TR; we did not want someone who was going to try to push us into IVF. I could have gone to someone here right in town and it cost much more, but they only perform 3 or 4 a month. Dr. Berger's credentials are impressive and he specializes in TR. Once I met with Dr. B I felt confident in choosing him, he answered my questions very thoroughly and was open to any and all questions. He was realistic, and I appreciate that more than anything. I can tell he intelligent but yet willing to explain it understandable terms. As far as my surgery, I liked the fact that I went into surgery a little later than anticipated because this meant that Dr. B took his time with the patient before me, which in turn assured me that when it came my turn that Dr. Berger would also give me the same care and attention, and he did just that. Dr. Monteith caught my eye with practicing in high-risk OB. I guess because I am considered high risk. While I chose Dr. B, I have heard many great things about Dr. M.
This is what my husband said: Marc liked that Dr. Berger is straight forward, logical, professional, and has excellent knowledge about his specialty. He liked that Dr. Berger takes good care of himself, and while you should’t judge by looks, it shows that his character exudes some type of concern and determination that most likely carries over into his work. And I agree, Dr. Berger is a very handsome man. But that is not what made me comfortable lol!
Regarding the staff, if I haven’t said it a million times, it's true what everyone says. They work so well together as a team. They made me smile, and feel so comfortable. The anesthesiologists made me feel comfortable also. They asked questions that made me feel confident that they knew what they were doing. Goodness, even the receptionists made me feel comfortable.
I never worried for a moment there would be a situation in which I would’t be taken care of if there was an emergency, but I also attributed that to my husband whom I trust. My husband is intelligent and on high alert when it comes to my well-being. In my state of consciousness I know that my husband would not allow me to be in any type of sub-standard situation.
Even if we are never able to conceive, without a doubt, we picked the best surgeon to give us the very best chance. I do not regret it for a moment.
HTH. Lots of luck to you and your journey.
Cindy & Marc

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Posted by BearsGirl June 10, 2009 12:30 AM:
I am going through the same thoughts also. When I first started my journey for a TR I thought about Chapel Hill for sure. I do have a TR Dr. right here in my town but it was the site and the communication here at Chapel Hill that attracted me. The care that is taken to give responses is just wonderful. I have a couple of months to do some soul searching and will be ready for TR. I believe my choice will be Chapel Hill though!

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Posted by purplelisa12 June 10, 2009 08:55 AM:
I agree with TulipGarden,
I'm always the one who "shops around" but kept coming back to Chapel Hill. It was a matter of who has been doing "ONLY TUBAL REVERSALS" for me. At my age etc, if I was really going to do this I wanted "the best" and I found that to be Dr. Berger. I too must admit that the website and all the info they share as well as having this very board was also a deciding factor for me. It just feels more like a "home" for us who decide this is the journey we want to take. Where there is support, there is knowledge. And I think in this journey we all need as much knowledge as possible. The staff are great and very caring. Dr. Berger is "yes, handsome" but very professional, and I felt like he cared about each of us that day. So you will ultimately have to decide what's best for you. But if you do choose Chapel Hill and Dr. Berger you will NOT be sorry.

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Posted by AnitaA68 June 10, 2009 09:11 AM:
I called clinics and doctors in my area that performed TRs. I had a list of questions including how many performed, costs, success and website availability.
What I found was very few did as many as CH, the cost was less at CH, the others didn't keep records of pregnancies, and they had no web site.
I feel that since CH specializes in TR, they would be better than someone who did them only a couple of times a year. I also liked being able to see statistics and be in contact with people who were sharing my experience.

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From vervilledeb1.vox.com When choosing the right tubal reversal surgeon, patients prefer to choose the surgeon who is more involved with them and not the competition. Women are opting for tubal reversal surgery to have a child and are not concerned with websites that are there for bashing other physicians. They are choosing to be well informed and make an educated decision. Many couples have made the final decision and that is to proceed with tubal reversal surgery. After many hours of searching information and reading the moment has arrived to choose the right surgeon that will fit your needs and provide the surgery with the results you are looking for.

Tubal Reversal Surgery Stirs Many Emotions For Women

Emotions run high for women who are awaiting their tubal reversals at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center. Women posting on the Tubal Reversal Message Board describe many reasons for these strong emotions. Many find that their dreams of becoming a mother again are finally coming true. For others it is simply realizing they are about to become whole again, or have been relieved of their post tubal ligation symptoms. For whatever reason, their hopes and dreams are best realized at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, the only medical center specifically for tubal ligation reversal surgery.

This is topic Consultation Crying in forum Preparing for Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

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Posted by MHart74 (Member # 13295) on May 15, 2009 11:45 PM:
Good evening ladies
I have a feeling that when the day finally gets here, I'm going to be a blubbering mess. Did this happened to any of you during your consultation? As the time draws nearer, I find myself crying at the drop of a hat... and I just know I'm going to lose it (in a good way though)

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Posted by debjim (Member # 8607) on May 16, 2009 07:06 AM:
I was that way right after the surgery, Dr B came in to talk to me when I woke up and I was a blubbering fool!

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Posted by anniev6176 (Member # 11735) on May 16, 2009 07:35 AM:
I cried on the way to the facility, during the consultation, and during prep for surgery. Part of the problem was no caffeine, but this whole thing has been such an emotional roller coaster for me. I won't bore you with the long story of why I was crying, but the staff was very understanding and compassionate. You're not the only one!! Oh and by the way, since TR I don't think I've cried once! I'm on a much more even keel since then.

Is It Beneficial To Get A Tubal Reversal for PTLS?

A frequent topic of discussion on the Tubal Reversal Message Board is about the issue of Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTLS). Cristina ('dixechick77') posed this question: "Since I had my tubes tied, I have noticed less libido, more headaches, longer periods with heavier bleeding including clots, unbelievable mood swings and heavy cramping. WHAT IS THIS? I have read different views! Would it be beneficial to have a Tubal Reversal?" She receives responses other message board participants about the issue of Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTLS), such as "Immediately after TL, I had severe headaches, bleeding with clots, depression, anxiety, skin problems and the list goes on. I am on CD 5 and have had only slight cramps, no headaches and no mood swings although results vary from woman to woman. I had immediate results after TR. Tubal reversal was worth every penny for me," and "Absolutely! It is called Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome and I had it bad. My tubes were tied for 3 years and I suffered right away. I am six month post-TR and am 95% back to what I consider normal. I say, go for it!" Another member adds, "After I had my tubes tied, AF started to change. My AF before the TL used to be 4 days, mild cramps, and medium flow. I had my TR Nov. 08 and have not had a single episode of flooding and no cramps. I am amazed. I am back to my old self!" Dixechick77 asks "Why aren't doctors diagnosing this?" That question has been discussed in detail on the Tubal Reversal Blog.

This is topic Is It Beneficial To Get A Tubal Reversal for PTLS? on the Tubal Reversal Message Board.

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Posted by dixechick77
Hello everyone! My name is Christina. I am 31 years old - with 3 daughters. After my 3rd daughter (6 years ago) I had my tubes tied. In the last 3 years I have noticed less libido, more headaches, longer periods with heavier bleeding (including clots), unbelievable mood swings and heavy cramping ALL the time, not just during my menstrual. WHAT IS THIS??? I have read different views! Would it be beneficial to have a Tubal Reversal???

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Posted by anesiajackson
Christina, I am 33 yo with 3 children. I had my TL in 2003 and just had my TR on the 1st. Immediately after TL, I had severe headaches, bleeding with clots, depression, anxiety, skin problems and the list goes on. I am on CD 5 and have had only slight cramps, no headaches and no mood swings although results vary from woman to woman. I had immediate results which I am grateful for, and the chance for #4 with DF. I wish you luck, TR was worth every penny for me.

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Posted by dixechick77
Thank you anesia. My hubby would love to have another shot for a boy - but I am not sure if I am ready quite yet. But I am DEFINATELY ready to get rid of these headaches,cramping etc. etc. We are looking at getting the TR in June, I hope. We are waiting on his disability rating to come in from the Veterans Administration to decide WHEN we can afford to do it. Thank you for your help! Good luck on #4

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Posted by Flutist29
Absolutely! It is called Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome and I had it bad. My tubes were tied for 3 years and I suffered right away. I am six month post-TR and am 95% back to what I consider normal.
I say, go for it!

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Posted by dixechick77
Thank you!!! I have been looking through some of the other posts! Why aren't doctors diagnosing this?!?!?!?! This is worse than anything ever! My family doctor just kept prescribing zoloft or whatever to help, but it doesn't! My husband thinks I don't want him anymore - which could not be further than the truth, but I just don't CRAVE sex anymore, let alone anything else!!!!! Thank you ladies for your insight!

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Posted by Flutist29
I didn't either and it frustrated my husband alot. We've had sex more the last six month than the previous 3 years before my TR. LOL!
The libido returned within a couple weeks following my TR.
Needless to say, DH is HAPPY!

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Posted by dixechick77
I am glad to hear that I am SO not alone! Thank you for the support ladies!

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Posted by aliyahsdream
I am in the same boat. The doctors kept saying I was just depressed, that is why I was so tired, or I had Chronic Fatigue, etc. They gave me meds that did not work and made me feel worse. I am so grateful that I found out about PTLS. My doctor blew a gasket, but there was no way he was giving me another medication that I do not need. I am looking forward to some relief from the symptoms. So is DH. LOL It has gotten to the point with the fatigue that I am almost bedridden, especially during AF, but all the time now. I thought I was alone, but am so grateful for all of you that have been where I am and that there is hope. Thanks so much!

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Posted by ajherr
After I had my tubes tied, AF started to change. Cramps as well as flooding. To the point that I needed to be home "in case" it happened. My AF before the TL used to be 4 days, mild cramps, and medium flow. I had my TR Nov. 08 and have not had a single episode of flooding. NO CRAMPS. I am amazed. I am back to my old self! Praise the Lord!

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Posted by dixechick77
Ladies I am now getting so excited about having the TR done! My DH is as well! LOL. I am with all of you on the sleeping fits and cramping - but the MIGRAINES are outrageous. They come on at the blink of an eye and take me going to sleep to get them to ease off - not go away. Does anyone else Wake Up with a headache? Other than normal daily life issues - I have no stress. So I have nothing that should be giving me these. Anyways - I thank all of you for your input and keep the posts coming! I am ready for the TR! Hoping in June!!!

Tubal Ligation Reversal vs. IVF: Age And Pregnancy Success

This article discusses the impact of age on the success of in vitro fertilization (IVF) and tubal ligation reversal surgery. Age is a strong predictor of success in becoming pregnant with either treatment. At Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, the tubal reversal success rates are higher in every age group when compared to IVF using fresh, nondonor eggs. Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center has the largest know data base of tubal reversal pregnancies in the world

IVF data has been obtained from the latest available national statistics complied by the US Center for Disease Control (2006 Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) Annual Report). Shows the average chance of IVF pregnancy success, not considering age, is 35% per cycle. Anyone considering IVF should be aware of their specific age related chance of success when undergoing IVF. The success rate of IVF, when using fresh nondonor eggs, is heavily dependent on patient age. The IVF nondonor egg birth rate begins a gradual decline between 30-32 and then declines more significantly after 36-38. The IVF live birth rate after the age of 44 comes very close to zero. The average IVF pregnancy rate using nondonor eggs is about 35%.

From 2001 to 2007, over 4000 women underwent tubal ligation reversal at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center. The average chance of pregnancy success after reversal of tubal ligation experienced by patients of Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center is 70%. The statistics compiled from Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center's extensive patient database of over 4000 tubal reversal patients over the last six years clearly demonstrate their patients do similar, if not better, at obtaining pregnancy success when compared to the national average of patients who undergo IVF using nondonor eggs.

The average chance of pregnancy success is 70% after tubal reversal and 35% after a single cycle of IVF and both treatments are adversely impacted upon by age.

Readers are invited to join discussions with other women on our Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Source: http://www.tubal-reversal.net/blog/2009/tubal-ligation-reversal/tubal-ligation-reversal-vs-ivf-age-and-pregnancy-success.html

Tubal Ligation and Tubal Ligation Reversal

The tubal reversal doctors at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center explain tubal ligation and the procedure of tubal ligation reversal to repair the fallopian tubes. Many women who have a tubal ligation will later regret it and want to become pregnant again. Few are aware of the option of tubal ligation reversal. This is unfortunate because tubal reversal is both affordable and highly successful at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center.

Quoting the Tubal Ligation Reversal Blog:

"Tubal ligation is a surgical procedure that blocks the fallopian tubes to prevent pregnancy. Many people commonly refer to tubal sterilization as having their ‘tubes tied’. The more correct medical term is tubal occlusion (occluding or closing the tube), because not every fallopian tube is ligated or tied when it is closed. There are many different ways to perform a tubal ligation, but all the procedures cause some destruction of the fallopian tubes. There are many ways to perform a tubal ligation: tying and cutting, cauterizing (burning) and clipping or banding the fallopian tubes are the most common techniques.

Tubal Ligation: A Common Surgical Procedure

Tubal ligation is a very common surgical procedure in the United States. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention investigated surgical sterilization in 1995 and discovered 10.6 million women in the US had a tubal ligation procedure. Tubal ligation was twice as common as vasectomy. The study also found 1 out of 4 women desired a tubal ligation reversal at some point in their lives.

Tubal Ligation Reversal

A large number of women will regret their decision to have a tubal ligation and want to have another baby. According to the CDC study of 1995, more than 2.5 million women in the US will want to have their ‘tubes untied’. Many of these women are unaware that tubal ligation reversal exists, or they may be told that treatment by in vitro fertilization (IVF) is their only option. Most of these women will abandon hope of becoming pregnant again.

Untying Fallopian Tubes

Just as the expression of having the ‘fallopian tubes tied’ is commonly misused, the description of ‘untying your fallopian tubes’ has also become a frequently used, but inaccurate description of what actually occurs during tubal surgery to repair blocked tubes. More accurate terms for this type of surgery are tubal ligation reversal or tubal reversal. There are several ways to repair fallopian tubes after a sterilization procedure. Tubotubal anastamosis is the most common technique for performing tubal ligation reversal surgery. These illustrations show the method of tubotubal anastomosis (also called tubal anastomosis or tubal reanastomosis).

Tubal ligation involves closing the fallopian tubes by destroying a portion of the fallopian tube, which causes the tube to heal closed. Tubal ligation reversal involves opening and rejoining the closed ends of the fallopian tubes. This procedure is done under magnification using microsurgical techniques and is very successful in allowing women to become pregnant. When performed by the tubal reversal doctors at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, 70% of women will become pregnant after a tubal ligation reversal.

Tubal Reversal Cost

We provide affordable tubal reversals at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center. We specialize in outpatient microsurgical tubal ligation reversal. We annually perform over 800 reversal surgeries every year and patients travel from across the United States and the world to have tubal ligation reversal at our center. We have developed special techniques to allow tubal reversal surgery to be affordable, safe, and highly effective. Our tubal reversal pregnancy rates, tubal reversal pregnancy testimonials, and patient satisfaction messages are testaments to our leadership in the field of tubal ligation reversal surgery."

More Information on Tubal Ligation Reversal

Helpful Ideas for Becoming Pregnant After Tubal Reversal Surgery

Tubal Reversal Message Board member Jan asks other patients to share what they did to help become pregnant after tubal reversal procedures by Dr. Berger and Dr. Monteith. Many patients respond to her question and give helpful hints, ideas, and advice. There are many things you can do to aid in becoming pregnant more quickly after tubal reversal surgery. One of the most useful tools is to use an ovulation predictor kit each month to make sure you are ovulating and to help pinpoint the most fertile time of your cycle.

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This is topic What did You do to get your BFP? in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by Peach

I have been reading lots of boards, posts, and logs about what so many have done to get pregnant.. Due to some age groups. more should be done as you get older. Since not everyone is a part of a certain thread... maybe posting your suggestions, experiences, and what you have done in assisting in getting you fertility "in check" to get pregnant....not to mention going to a fertility Specialist. ie: EPO, Preseed, clomid, fertilaid... etc... What did you take or do to acchieve your goals? Can we get some helpers out there to add their list of "things to do" while TTC.
Though I did not get my BFP every since my TR in 05 and goning through LAp in 12/07. I still would like to let you know what I did, and what I should have continue to do....
Preseed, clomid many times, prenate vitamins, extra folic acid, mucinex (not that i needed it), and started eatting right and walking 1 hour a day.

me 44
dh 45
tl 86'
tr 4/05- HSG- 10/05- left blocked, right open
IUI 4 times every other month in 06-07 NEG results
RE done a Lap/Recannulation 12/07- both were blocked - now supposedly both OPEN.
My cycles all were ovulatory... and levels were good. 4.6-7.8 only once did it get to 10.3 for FSH. Lining always thick enuff. dh sperm was over 20mil- considered normal for his age.. morphology motility was a bit low but well enuff. Guess not!
Now What?

Thanks
Jan

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Posted by Jennifer K.

We had our TR in August, 2005. It took us 22 months to get pregnant with Lydia Grace - that was after 4 miscarriages and 1 suspected ectopic. Here is what I was doing the month we got pregnant with Lydia Grace:

Metformin (1500mg)
Baby aspirin
Clomid (100mg on CD5-9)
Trigger shot on CD15
Progesterone (100mg 2x daily starting 2 days after O)
BD CD14,15, 16 & 17 (1x per day)
Preseed
Prenatal
Acupuncture (1x per week started 6 weeks before BFP)
No coffee
Eating right
Mild exercise

I was diagnosed with PCOS and unknown repeat m/c. I did all the tests and everything came back normal. I started seeing an RE about a year after my TR. We got our first BFP the first month we were seeing her and our first month on clomid. Unfortunately, it ended in a miscarriage. After our 3rd m/c our RE started treating us as if we had been diagnosed w/ repeat m/c even though my test results were normal. I had good egg reserves and a good lining and the clomid helped me to ovulate regularly. My RE thought that the PCOS was affecting my egg quality and that we needed to keep trying until we "popped off a good one" which we eventually did. We now have a happy, healthy, beautiful 9 month old baby girl that is THE light of my life.

I hope this helps those still out there waiting for their BFP. I'm living proof that it can and will happen if you hang in there and keep trying.

Jenn

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Posted by MRC

Jan....the first time I got pregnant I was on a "break" and did nothing special but let off the pressure...that ended in m/c. The second and third time I got pregnant was the same scenario...my dh was drinking ALOT of redbull...the second pregnancy ended in m/c as well..but third time was a charm...I'm just about 20 weeks pregnant with my first tr baby. Have your dh drink redbull before bd...it can't hurt...another girl on the march 06' board has here dh do that and she has a beautiful tr baby girl. You are mor than welcome to come join us over there as well
Michelle
TR 3-6-06
m/c 9-29-06
m/c 2/13/08
BFP 7-3-08 EDD 3-9-09

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Posted by Tanya from VA

TR 9-7-06
BFP 9-11-07
Carly 5-13-08

The cycle I got pregnant I did nothing in particular. I used my ClearBlue monitor and I OPK'ed twice. We bd'ed twice - every other day - only twice in the fertile period.

I ttc for a year and had two miscarriage. In that time I took took asprin, used Pre-Seed, took vitamins, had my dh take vitamins, used my monitor, used OPK's, tried the Instead, laid on my back after bd'ing - and I've become a believer that half of this stuff we do while ttc doesn't really do anything.

I know that sounds harsh - I certainly tried it all myself - but the one time I did absolutely NOTHING, and didn't even take it overly serious (we were moving, stressed, I didn't even hardly temp and didn't test until my AF was due) I got my sticky BFP.

Good luck to all!

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Posted by HisWill

Jan,

The number one thing I did, was prepare for the fact (as much as possible-it's a lie to say that dissapointment and heartache wouldn't be normal) that I didn't know what my outcome would be. I knew many ladies on the boards conceived the first time trying, others take a while, and some never become pregnant. The one factor in common is that all want another child(ren). I was truly ready that this may not be God's plan for me. I didn't want to be heartbroken over something I wasn't guaranteed. I was actually surprised I became pregnant, because I had been so realistic about it not being my call.

I didn't OPK or chart, because I know I would over-focus on this, and I didn't believe making it the focus of my life would be my honestly surrendering it to God how I intended.

I know this is a very personal journey for all of us ladies-I'm just sharing how I embarked on my journey. I pray for all of us to have peace regarding our fertility.

I take herbs to promote overall health. I don't believe beginning something for the sake of fertility is necessarily very effective. I take the following for my overall health and I do it whether TTC or not..so it's been years that I've been on it.

Good Multi vitamin
3000 mg vitamin C
EPO from CD1-O when TTC, otherwise all month
Super B complex
Fish Oil 1000 mg
Baby aspirin all the time. I take this because I lost a baby due to positive ANA. I don't believe it necessarily helps get pregnant, but I know for sure it protects me from m/c.

Husband takes good multi vitamin
zinc
1000 mg vit C
Super B complex
Baby aspirin for heart health
Fish oil 1000 mg

Andrea-31
Dh-37 next month
DS-11
DS-6
DD-5
DD-3
TL 4/19/05 at time of c-section
TR 7/30/08
BFP 9/16/08-1st cycle TTC
EDD 5/28/09

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Posted by debjim

Not trying to be funny or anything, but all we did was BD during O time, I didn't even use OPK's I just knew around when I would O.

It took 5 months for the first baby and 3 the second.

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Posted by Marty

For me it took 0 months for my first TR baby and he is 9 months. I breastfeeded the first 6 and now that he is 9 months Im pregnant so I would say it took 2 months for Baby # 2....

Martha

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Posted by Marty

Sorry did not write what I did... Lots of you know what and Fertil-Aid- Also eating healthy and lots of jogging seems both times I got pregnant is when I would be in pretty good shape...

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Posted by BlessedMommyKat

I have been taking pre natal vitamins for 18 months, I've tried charting/temping, using opk's alternating BD days...I'm stumped as to how some of you just don't really think about it and... poof! You're pregnant! Are those of you who have gotten bfp's physically fit and within normal BMI ranges? I'm overweight and can't help but to wonder if that is hurting me.

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Posted by Amy1234

Pre-Seed + opk + Dh drank Redbull 10 minutes before bd.

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Posted by HisWill

Hi BlessedMommyKat,

My BMI is in a good range. Before this pregnancy I was 5'9 and about 140.

I truly think being overweight may cause problems. Obviously, plenty of overweight women become pregnant, but because fat cells in women produce estrogen dominance, it is likely that being overweight doesn't help fertility. High amounts of body fat can increase estrogen-or prolong the estrogen phase, thus reducing the mature follicles and ovulation.

I understand being overweight. In my first pregnancy, my doctor thought I had lupus. He placed me on 80 mg of prednisone a day. I started out at 120lbs, and at 34 weeks when I delivered I was 218. Additionally, with each of my pregnancies I gain WAY over the recommended amounts of weight on very healthy foods and the right amount of calories. My doctor says that I have a maternal storing thing going on. Unfortunately, I don't shed much weight through bf'ing like my friends! So I have to work hard after each of my 4 children to lose a lot of weight to be healthy. I understand what it's like!

Best wishes!

Andrea

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Posted by april1979

HI, I am 29 and my DH is 44, I had my TL in 01, and TR on 12-07, It took us 8 months to get pregnant. First I tried the figuring out when I O'd, and starting taking prenatal vitamins. After 5 months of trying, I had looked into Clomid and Pre-seed, Had DH tested, was normal, When I purchased the Clomid and Preseed I had to wait for next cycle, and AF never came. The month before, I had said that maybe this is not In God's plan for us to have a baby. And was going to give up. So, when I got pregnant, I was on nothing, BD'd Twice One at night and once in morning, (that is what did it for my sister too, BD'ing twice when O'ing)
I am over weight, my bmi is high, I know that does not help, But it doesn't make it impossible. So I hope this helps. Good Luck to all still trying! Oh due on 4-25-08!!!

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Posted by AnitaA68

Jan, I'm sorry this journey hasn't been the one you had hoped for.

My TR was in November 05.

We tried everything we could come up with, for me and for DH. At first, it was just letting nature take it's course. After the HSG showed open tubes, we stepped it up a bit using temping OPKs, etc. We eventually went to an RE who diagnosed me with unexplained infertility. That was very disappointing since all tests came back with excellent results. We did a few rounds of drugs, IUIs and then IVF.

Each person is an individual case. What may work for one, may not for another. Being under weight or over weight can influence fertility. As well as what you eat, your environment, etc, etc. I remember how hard it was to hear someone say they did nothing special to get their BFP and to relax. Although they meant well, it usually made me feel terrible. I think the most important thing I did was to try to stay positive and not give up. And that was very hard by the time the two year mark rolled around. I wanted to continue to try every avenue we could to get a little one.

I hope you soon get your sticky BFP. I know how heartbreaking this whole experience can be.

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Posted by BlessedMommyKat

Andrea (HisWill)

Thank you for addressing my thoughts on being overweight... I commend you for being so lean. What did you do to lose the weight so nicely? I find myself worrying about not eating properly for ttc and it becomes a downward spiral for me. Do you have any suggestions? I'm at the point where I am willing to try anything.

My RE says I am quote, "full of eggs" he counted 13-14 follicles on each of my ovaries and didn't think my weight was hurting me (but I cannot help but wonder) I am way heavier than when I was pregnant the first time. I remember being 6 weeks pregnant and 134. Now I'm not pregnant and I'm almost 200 pounds! So... my common sense says there's something to being overweight and ttc.

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Posted by HisWill

Hi BlessedMommyKat,

The first thing I had to do is come to terms with my physical appearance. Since I was so young when I got pregnant the first time, my body was so "perfect"...well, 80 mg of prednisone, and subsequent chemo left me with stretch marks over 80% of my body. Additionally, when you stretch that much so quickly, there's a whole lot of baggy skin involved since prednisone causes a huge depletion in collagen.

Fortunately, I knew God brought me through that so I would give myself to Him completely. I had to be knocked upside the head a bit. Nearly losing my life at such a young age, made me very realistic about what life is about. I believe life is about serving Jesus Christ-"this thorn in my side is but a mere affliction.". I think God wants us to take care of our bodies, but not let them enslave us. I will never look like I did before hand, but I can do my best, you know?

So, I started some good vitamins, and began first walking and then jogging on the treadmill. I am really active will all the kids, but that was never enough. I had to really reduce my calories and fats, add in Omega's like fish oil, and simply eat better and eat less. Since I already cook all of our meals, and we eat healthfully, it's really just eating less and exercising more that did it. I added in tons of water, and a couple of cheap beginners Pilates videos.

There is a place of comfort with knowing everything in your life is in His hands. Knowing that my body has been an earthen vessel for His glory is all that matters. I am sure I'll have 6 months or so of hard work after this baby, but I won't starve myself to reduce my work later. All healthy and I'm sure I'll be looking at another 50+ lb weight gain!

I wish you the absolute best. So many are correct that you can do everything right and still not become pregnant, or you can be eating fast food all the time and not paying attention and you conceive. This is because it's in God's timing.

However, working towards the goal is very commendable, and very good for your overall health!

Blessings!

Andrea

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Posted by BlessedMommyKat

Andrea... did you say chemo?

You are inspiring on so many levels. I thank you for your honesty and your testimony. I know some people take offense here, but not I. I am a believer and I am encouraged by your words... thank you.

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Posted by Mary-MI

"I wish you the absolute best. So many are correct that you can do everything right and still not become pregnant, or you can be eating fast food all the time and not paying attention and you conceive. This is because it's in God's timing."

Let me get this straight.. you think that if God wants you to be pregnant, it will happen, no matter what we do? Then why have a TR???? If its his will, wouldn't you become pregnant with tied tubes???

I so wished we could have one post on here without religion being used as the answer to the question that someone has posted, looking for help.

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Posted by klinger13

I have to agree with Mary-MI's last statement. This thread started out with people giving their great responses to the question asked, then completely morphed into a religious thread.

I really feel that I have the right to come to this board to read questions, answers, & advice, without feeling that I stepped into a religious message board. It can really make people (self included) very uncomfortable. Can we keep that in mind when responding so all can enjoy and find help from these boards, regardless of our belief system?

Thank you.
Amanda

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Posted by angelsbaby629

Jan,
I thought your name looked familliar. I have been here since 2000 and had TR done 2002. After we had no bfp's by the 3rd month after TR I went to the dr and begged for clomid. It worked, 4months after TR we got pg with Gabriella. ofcourse we bd'd every day(sometimes 2x's and he was lovin that ) then when Gabby was 6m we decided to try again. This time it wasnt so easy..it took us over 2 years and all the RE could say was it was unexplained infertility. we did 4 rounds of IUI, 1 incomplete(thanks to insurance) round of IVF that turned into a heavily medicated IUI cycle. clomid for 6 months, wait, 7 months, 3 of them with triggers. and countless medication, by mouth and injects. Then I gave up and decided that we were only meant to have Gabby. oh, i forgot we also had 2 hsg's to make sure my tubes were still open. out of the blue we got Preggers with Natalie-Jean.
This time i was trying to aviod (but no bc) getting pg and wham, it happened. not planned, but always welcomed.
I am so very sorry you are going through this. I still say I was taught a lesson of patients while trying to get pg with Natalie. either way. good luck hun and agian, I am sorry you're going through this mess. just remember, there IS a
light at the end of the tunnel. Jess

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Posted by mama12

The best advice I can give, I've had 3 pregnancies in 1 year, lost 2 and am now nearing 4 months pregnant with this one.
I took vitamins all the way through, simple, just Flintstones complete. Made DH take them too.
Which regardless I've taken them for years just to make sure I'm healthy so even that isn't any different. I talk calcium too, everyday.
I didn't OPK, didn't temp, didn't chart. We just did it when I knew I was O'ing, felt like I was Oing. CD 10-14 of a 28 day cycle, that's it.
We NEVER stressed it, never got obssessed. Like Tanya says it didn't help her, I knew it wouldn't help me, even in Dr. Berger's office, he tried to tell me about OPK and charting I told him I won't do it, so lets just get this surgery done! If it's going to happen it will. Which is pretty much when I felt like it, I'm in the mood at O time naturally. Just take it easy and don't worry, don't get stressed.
Let BD be what it is, you and your DH being close. Forget the technicalities. We did and it worked 3 X.
If you have regular periods you are O'ing. So don't worry!! Just have fun everything else will take care of itself.
BTW w/ the 2nd BFP I lost my right tube, so this is a 1 tube baby. It took 4 months of trying and we did it.

I do recommend help though if you have irregular periods. In that case OPK is a good idea.
For me I didn't need it I'm very regular.

I wish you luck!! Keep TTC fun!!!
In all honesty give it a year. You'll get it!

The only unnatural thing I did was have Dr. Berger in there. That's it.

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Posted by onemoretracy

I had my TR on 11/08/07. I had used FF to chart for a couple of months beofre surgery just to get a feel for my cycle. I was not always good about keeping it up though!

When the time came to actively TTC I really talked about it with my midwife. She was very helpful and positive. She recommended the HSG and I had that done in March. Also I took Clomid (50mg) that cycle. I had taken it to concieve for my previous pregnancy (pre-TL and TR) As it turns out, one of my tubes is blocked, but that same cycle I had the HSG and also began the Clomid we concieved. I also took pre-natals and baby asprin daily (DH took this as well). I did give up caffeine too.

As far as timing, we were not stressing about it. We Bd about every other day from cd 10-20. I think I o'd that cycle around day 16, but I am not sure bc I wasn't charting, just keeping an eye on mucus changes and mood changes etc.

Good luck with your TTC and remember to have fun and enjoy each other! Now I am in the 3rd trimester, my DH is remembering those back to those good old days of TTC, lol!

~Tracy
EDD 12/22/08

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Posted by TrulyBlessed

America is blessed with a great variety of people - we should celebrate that instead of always looking for something to jump down another's throat. And we are also blessed with many freedoms - one being religion, whether you want it, practice it or not - faith comes in many varieties. But maybe you should question why the mention of God "offends" you. No one is saying anything other than what they believe - you can choose to believe or not but just as you have the right to ignore we have the right to proclaim.

Now the people who try to shove it forcefully down your throat are a bit offensive - even me, a christian, will admit to that - because Jesus himself did not force his teachings on people. But just remember - for those of you who get "offended" by the talk of God - there are just as many of us who are out there that find the encouraging words of our fellow christians a balm in rough times. And yes, God can do all things but it was not him that made fertility impossible - it was her choice of TL that did. He gives us 100% control over our bodies, but that also means we suffer the concequences if we do not treat them right.

HisWill, you are very encouraging for us who are out there that are not "offended". I think you are very brave for standing up for your faith, even when people complain about it - because in the end you are not hurting anyone with your words, negativity in this world is rapant and I hope that one day when I get to do my TR and announce my pregnancy that there will be people like you still around that will praise and rejoice with me and my family.

Sorry that this is so long but it really just aggrevates me when people want to "shut down" a positive thing - last time I checked, true christians were not unhappy, negative people - even in the most dire circumtances.

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Posted by HisWill

Yes Blessed, I had chemo.

Mary, I'm sorry you take offense. It isn't religion, it's Jesus Christ. No, I wouldn't become pregnant with tied tubes because I circumvented the will of God by tying off His blessings. Not the answer you wanted, but the one I believe.

There are lots of posts on this forum that don't deal with any bit of faith. I'm sure they will offer you more of what you want to hear.

I'm praying for blessings for every lady of the board, whether they personally offend me or not.

Blessings!

Andrea

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Posted by momto10

Andrea, this is why I don't post much anymore. Faith and belief...religion whatever anyone wants to call it is so much a part of every opinion I have and every aspect of any help I have to offer that there is NO possible way I could write without refering to Christin some way. But as in many things in life offense to Christian religion is harped and therefore Christian religion is suspressed BUT if the roles were turned and I was prasing Budda, nobody would say a word. I guess I'll never understand why Christian support and comfort is attacked.

So if my way of speaking and my way of showing comfort to my TR sisters is NOT welcomed then..... I guess it's time for me to leave.

This entire forum was here for SUPPORT and COMFORT. If you need medical advice, hire a doctor!

Gwen

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Posted by LIZZYpooh

Hello Ladies......I thank everyone of you who trust and believe God for your miracles...since He is the only one that gives life...i will always be trusting him...yes he could have caused me to get pregnant without a tr ...but faith without works is dead...if this board allowed all types of fussing and cussing some people wouldn't be offended with that at all...I am one that is not charting or any of that I am going to keep practicing with dh and will happen when God says so....I'm in love with Jesus and he is in love me.....

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Posted by MOMZILLA

I am not a religious person. I was raised Catholic but do not practice. I know many people who are church-goers and still do bad harmful things to people. Likewise, I know many folks who do not attend mass (organized religion) and are very good people who have their own faith in God and serve in their own way. We need to be tolerant of each otther, no matter what our faith or beliefs. I, too, do not like it when people "push" their religion or beliefs on me. That being said, I do not think that is anyone's intent here. People go on this journey for different reasons (ptls vs TTC) and we all go through it in our own ways, taking comfort in words of others, support of family, medical advice or religion. I know it can be frustrating being on this journey that is such a hard struggle for many..it is hard to hear women say it is simply up to God when many are riding a roller coaster of meds, herbs, tests ,kits, temps, and all kinds of interventions. It is a very emotional and personal journey but we need to remember we are all individuals with different beliefs and perspectives and we need to respect our differences and still be there to offer whatever kind of support we can based on our own journies in life. Again, while I do not practice religion I believe in God and believe we just need to be there for each other. When my father in law was dying of prostate cancer I got pregnant unexpectedly (BC failure).I truly believe we were given a gift from God here. Though he was dying we had a wonderful new baby coming. It is unfortunate that he passed 10 weeks before I delivered but it was a positive thing for the family in a very sad time...Again, I am not religious but I still believe this was God's way of giving us happiness and a new focus in the midst of such a great loss. For me, I try to offer advice here based on my experiences in child-bearing and living with PTLS but not through a religious voice or persepctive. I find no fault in those who ride their faith through this journey and share from that view point. As long as nobody is trying to convert me (LOL) I am ok with everyone expressing their feelings and beliefs here. Try to remember why we are here..to help each other from our individual experiences and perspectives. If you do not care for a particular perspective..then feel free to disregard and move on to another post from yet a different perspective..This is a hard journey...let's not make it more stressful and hard on each other by taking offense where none is intended...We are all here to help because we care.

Tracy

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Posted by momto10

Tracey it is just human nature to resort to the explaination of God's Will, when herbs, medicine, creams, surgeries, and IUI all fail. Humans throughout history have looked for reason when our methodes fail. I don't uderstand why that is so offensive. No-one has said you have to be Catholic or you that you have be believe what any of us say...

I will just never understand why words that are meant to offer comfort are so bad.... I know that these types of words comfort me. I want peopel to use them when speaking to me. I am sterile after TR....9 months post TR and NO positives..... It hurts me that maybe God doesn't will for me to have more....BUT... I find comfort in knowingthat maybe it's not my fault, maybe I just don't have 100% control over that part of my life. I not only find it comforting BUT it also relieves my guilt and my anxiety over trying.

Almost ALL "support" groups uses some sort of surrender to a higher power, AA, OA, and many secular mental health professionals instruct people to focus on ones "spiritual-self" in order to relieve stress. Heck Oprah even talks about it all the time... Not that I put too much Faith in her, she isn't fair off the pulse of America.

To everyone who has a problem with these type of words of advice/comfort; What would you prefer we say to offer comfort? Should we be just like you? Should we parrot your thoughts and advice? WHy is my advice any less important? Why, can't I jsut offer my advice and be ignored, when my advice/comfort isn't welcomed? How are we supposed to know who wants that kind of support and who doesn't? Should this forum become so politically correct that even herbs and homeopathey, should be discluded, afterall, science can't prove that either?

Maybe we should jsut have some Socialistic rules guiding our everyword, only saving what the powers that be would say... The who desides who the powers that be are? When I spoke to Dr. B and told him that I was just having the surgery to be Open to God's Will he didn't judge me. He accepted me with love and kindness, despite the fact that all I could do was talk about God and the TL being the BIGGEST mistake I've ever made.

Signed Gwen <who is compeltely baffled by why these words offend. If someone believes something else they can say, please don't talk about God around me. I would say, OK and I would make an effort to not do it again.

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Posted by MOMZILLA

Gwen, I was addressing those who feel it is "offensive" when folks mention God. I do not agree with that..That was the point of me saying there is no "intent" here to preach, etc. I was not sure, from your response, if you thought I was expressing an issue with that. My point is that we all bring our individual prespectives here and we should not get offended or make that more stressful for each other. We need more tolerance and support and less worrying about where the advice originates. We are who we are and should not apologize for that, but we should support one another in this journey, despite our differences...

Tracy

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Posted by momto10

OHHHH, gotcha MOMZILLA. Sorry. BTW, I love you screen name.

Gwen


Posted by MOMZILLA

Thanks. My screen name sort of reflected what I became with PTLS....I was so unhealthy, isolated, short-termpered and miserable..I lost the joy in being a mother to my 3 kids..I felt I became this evil Momzilla rather than just plain Mommy..I am so relieved to be back to my old self again after TR...I feel so badly for some of the women here who try so hard to get pregnant and stay that way. I was lucky to have the 3 kids I have without too much trouble.. I have had 3 m/cs in my life-time and 3 healthy kids. I am blessed to have them!

Tracy

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Posted by LuceFamily

umm... so about those BFP's...

Lets get to the reason this forum is here... regardless of what our individual beliefs may be this board is intended to offer support to one another. So maybe we dont all have the same faith in common, but one thing we do have in common is that we have all struggled with the heartache and turmoil of having gone though a TL and wanting more than anything to have another child. I think there is always something we can learn from each other, lets take what we need from each others post here on the boards... and what we dont like or dont agree with, just move on. Come on guys, this is silly. Let support each other in our journey making children, not acting like children.

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Posted by Mary-MI

Peach, I have only had one BFP that ended in E/P. Months prior I had an HSG, and my only tube was opened, 3 rounds of clomid, preseed and charting.

When I got my BFP, I was only charting. Now, my RE discovered I have PCOS. I am on my first cycle with Metformin, so we shall see if that works. I didn't realize how much PCOS cause infertility. Best wishes to you.

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Posted by momto10

Tracy, I know what you mean about not connecting with my children..... Each onth I sem to get a little better. I seem to "enjoy" my maritail relations again as well. I really feel like my whole life is coming back into order. This month is only my second "normal" month, and I am 9 months post TR..... So, who knows, I feel like I still have time.

I have had 6 Biologocal living children, 4 m/c before TL, and 4 step children. ALL are Blessings, even if I never conceive another baby, "MY" TR was very much worth it!

Gwen

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Posted by MOMZILLA

OK..so I have no intention of have a TR baby ( I am 43) but I got my pre-TL BFPs by ...child #1: did nothing and got PG within 3 months..child #2)..had 2 m/cs two months in a row and did some temping and clearplan monitor thing but still took 1 year to get pg.. child #3: not trying but had bc fail us resulting in a wonderful gift of a baby boy who turns 4 in March and tells me "Mommy I love you" every day..

Tracy

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Posted by Iluvrsp

If your tubes are blocked when you have the surgery done does that mean that you cannot get pregnant? Also when you have the TR done do you just let nature take it's course or do you have to do something else? I am new to this and just trying to learn before then time comes to have the TR done..

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Posted by Tanya from VA

iluvsrp - The point of the TR surgury is to put your tubes back together so you can conceive in a more "natural" or pre-ligation way. If your tubes become blocked then you can not conceive after TR (the old fashion way). You would need to seek IVF or another fertility treatment.

My comments about doing nothing were in no way to meant to say "relax, it will happen". In my case I did almost everything for a year, and we took a month off mostly because we were moving and I simply didn't have time to chart, temp, OPK, ect. It was one of only two months that I didn't do anything.

As far as the the God/religion talk, to each their own. I agree it's hard after months and months of ttc and frustration to hear it's as simple as turning it over to God. You want to know why your being forsaken. What is the plan he has for you? Why this loving giving God throws miscarriage or blocked tubes at you, when others conceieve and have a child with no problems? I felt that way many times, especially after my loss at 10 weeks with twins. It was completely devestating, and I'm not sure I've come back around yet. Just when I felt I was getting past most of it, my dad died unexpectly on April 26th - three weeks before Carly was born in May of this year.

Religious encouragement doesn't offend me, but it's not always easy for those who are struggling with this rollercoaster of ttc to embrace something that is suppose to be comforting when they truly are heartbroken and searching for answers. I'm sure it's actually as simple as that, not some deep seeded anti-religious sentiment.

Best of luck to all.

Tanya

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Posted by Iluvrsp

So what blockage means is that after you have TR done your tubes can become blocked?

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Posted by Tanya from VA

Absolutely they can become blocked. One or both can become blocked for several reasons. They can heal up and get blocked or they can get blocked with debris.

Chapel Hill has a statistic - not sure of the number - but it is a possibility you should be aware of.

Best of luck!

Tanya
TR 9-7-06
Carly 5-13-08

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Posted by MOMZILLA

Tanya - That was one of my points..exactly..

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Posted by mama12

Iluvrsp. It is a possiblity but the risk isn't that high.
There is a thing called an HSG where they force a dyed liquid through your tubes and do like an Xray so they can tell if your tubes are blocked.
Alot of times just getting the HSG done will clear out tubal blockages if it's just debris or tissue in there.
I wouldn't worry too much about it honestly.
The chances are pretty low, most women have at least one good open one if one is blocked.
All you need is one tube.
Getting the HSG is something you would do maybe 8 months to a year or more after TR if you haven't gotten pregnant. Most Dr.s will recommend waiting for a while see if you get pregnant. It took us a while for me to get pregnant after the EP I had, but I'm pregnant with a good one. Just passed my 1 year anniversary of TR.

Guilt And Regret Over Having Tied Tubes

Tubal Reversal surgery offers a chance for women who have changed their minds and desire more children after having their tubes tied. The message board at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center offers women a place to share their feelings and receive support from others who are experiencing feelings of regret or guilt over their decision to have their tubes tied. Fortunately, Dr. Gary Berger and Dr. Charles Monteith offer a low-cost, outpatient procedure that has given thousands of women the chance to restore their fertility and have more children as well as help in finding relief from unpleasant symptoms developed after undergoing tubal ligation.

This is topic Guilt and regret after tubal ligation in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by Dr. Monteith (Member # 11996) on September 24, 2008 09:21 AM:
Our new blog discusses common reasons patients have shared with us as to why they have regretted their tubal ligation: Guilt or regret after tubes tied Please share your story on the message board if you have had such an experience.

Posted by MyAngel112706 (Member # 12279) on September 24, 2008 10:58 AM:
I very much regret My TL. Nine short months after my TL my DD so sadly passed away. We were devastated. I thought when I had the TL done I was making the right decision because my family was complete because I had my 2 boys and now my little girl. I regret that decision now more than anything but I have corrected that decision with my TR in march of this year. I have not had a BFP as of yet but I have time, I am only 30. I feel it will happen when my mind and my body is ready. Thanks so much.

Posted by Brandon, ST (Member # 9908) on September 24, 2008 10:59 AM:
This should be a very interesting thread. I would be interested to see how many people have come to their decision of having a tubal ligation reversal.
Brandon,ST

Posted by Flutist29 (Member # 12785) on September 24, 2008 11:29 AM:
I strongly regret having my TL. At the time, I experienced a troublesome pregnancy and my OB at that time, scared me into having more children. I don't know why I listened to her, but I did. Now 3.5 years later, I am scheduled for my reversal on 10/8/08. I am looking forward to having 'normal' cycles again and praying that if it is God's will, we will get pregnant again.

Posted by MOMZILLA (Member # 12256) on September 24, 2008 11:39 AM:
If I had to do it all over again I would never have the TL. I could have saved myself 3 years of PTLS misery, angst, doctor visits and the near collapse of my marriage....I am so grateful the the TR has resolved all my symptoms and given me my life back..I tell everyone who mentions it not to have a TL or to give it serious consideration (understanding the potential physical complications before they do it). Tracy

Posted by albmdb (Member # 12062) on September 24, 2008 11:44 AM:
I had tl in 12/98 after the birth of my son. No problems durning preg, however my husband then was very abusive, mental,physical,emotional. I really wanted more kids later on but not with him, so i had tl. yes i really regreted but i always thought i would never be able to get away from him so that is why i had tl done, before my son turn 1year old he left me for a much younger girl, she was 18 and i was 21 with 2 kids, she had none. that was my chance to move away, i did and got my life changed and met the man of my dreams, he had no kids and always treated my kids as his own. we dated 3 years and then i finally married him in 2003. I am so happy and so are my children, my children have not seen there real father and they dont care too. They are only 9 and 12. So now i have tr and we are trying for a baby and my children are so happy, they both said they cant wait to be the big brother/sister.We also talked to them before we had the tr done and they was please to know mom could have a new baby some day.
My tr was 4/7/08 and no bfp yet and my cycles have been way off, around 38 to 40 days.
SO yes i really regreted doing tl.

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 24, 2008 12:00 PM:
What is interesting to me, is that often the association between guilt and symptoms is used to explain physiological symptoms following TL. When I first began having bad symptoms, very soon after TL, I didn't even regret the decision yet. I was convinced it was "for the best". My symptoms went on for months and months, until I began praying and crying about what I had done... So, my question (and I've answered this for myself on a personal/spiritual level) was did the symptoms CAUSE me to begin to realize and regret what I had done, since they came first? My TL was necessary to change my heart to understand what God had given me, and that what I had done (for me and my family) was wrong! I decided on the TL absent of my faith in God, and against my husband and doc's recommendations! So, once I realized what I had done, and that it would cost my family 7k for a trip to repair it, it hit me very hard. I'm thankful I had the TL because through it, I learned that large families, and children in general are the tool that God is using in me to mold me to what He wants me to be...had I not had it, I would be pregnant another time or two, and maybe I would view these additional children as blessings but burdensome, since my heart needed the change in many ways to ensure that my faith was complete. **Oh, and to touch on the blog, no pastor told me that my TL was "against God's will". This was something very personal between me, God and my husband. No pastor is in our bedroom-only Christ dwells there. I'm not religious, so it isn't about "rules" of do's and dont's. I'm saved by Christ, so for me, it was about the Holy Spirit working in a way to change my heart about this particular subject, just as He has in other ways-no rules. I don't believe you have to have lots of kids to be a Christian! If we never had another, I know my heart and so does God..this is a personal heart change of faith.** Blessings, Andrea

Posted by Jennifer K. (Member # 7884) on September 24, 2008 12:14 PM:
I may be unique in that I don't regret having my TL. At the time it was the right decision for me and I had no way of knowing how my life would change. I am grateful that I found CH and Dr. Berger who was able to give me what I needed when it came to the TR. I now have a beautiful daughter and I know that everything that came before, including my TL and TR, was so I could eventually have her in my life. Jenn

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 24, 2008 12:20 PM:
I love your perspective JenniferK! That's exactly how I feel. Of course, I do wish I would have fully considered it with prayer before hand...but I do believe we must often go through bad things to open our eyes or to end up where we need to be!God Bless and congrats on having the baby you so wanted! Andrea

Posted by RebeccaJ (Member # 12216) on September 24, 2008 12:26 PM:
I had my tl right after my dd was born nearly 13 years ago. I didn't regret it at first, but within a year and our situation changed, then I regretted it.
We had the tl for financial reasons and very selfish reasons on my part. I smoked and could not take birth control and I was not aware of other methods, (shot etc.) until after the fact. (I have quit smoking since this time) I was also pressured by my mother and husband who informed me that four was enough.
In addition, I had lost a baby just prior to conceiving my dd. My husband was worried something would happen to me.
The sad part was, I was only 32 years old. I am now 45, had my tr this past July. If God blesses us then we are open to a blessing, if our time came and went then at least I will be relieved of my post ligation symptoms. I watched my sister get her tubal a few months after I had my daughter, (she had to have an emergency c-section and they let me go in with her). If you ever see this, you would never get a tl. God Bless Rebecca
TR 07/28/08

Posted by Amy1234 (Member # 5192) on September 24, 2008 01:02 PM:
Mine was a divorce and remarriage to a man with no children that got me searching the net. We have one together and are ttc #2, then I will have another tl. I am so glad we had tr as an option to allow us to complete our family together. Amy
TR Baby 5/31/07
TR #2...hopefully soon

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 24, 2008 02:00 PM:
I had regret not long after because my body started acting up.I wanted something done before I even meet my now husband.My TL was done when I had a c-section with my last child.At the time and being with my first husband having no more children was the right thing. If I had not felt so bad I would not have thought about a TR. I am now remarried to a great man with no children of his own. But I will tell any that even if I never get blessed with another child, doing away with PTLS was wroth it all to me. I feel like myself again and my DH loves it because we get out more and have fun now. Before I felt to bad through out my cycle to where I did not even want to leave the house. Miranda

Posted by Flutist29 (Member # 12785) on September 24, 2008 02:09 PM:
I agree with the PTLS! My experience has been horrible since my TL. My poor DH has had to see me be in pain and deal with ME during it all for the last 3.5 years. I'm looking forward to relief myself. Getting pregnant is a desire, but we are turning that over to God.

Posted by Tanya from VA (Member # 9507) on September 24, 2008 02:44 PM:
My situation is a bit different than many here, but similar as well. I had my TL in 2000 after the birth of my second child. My dh and I were both working-full time outside the home, and finances were as crunched as they can be. We had one of each, and we were saving for our first single-family home. Neither of us liked birth control much - as married people we just found it tedious and unnecessary so we opted for the TL. We never could have forseen the time when finances changed, and original desire I had for three children would be become within our means both financially and being able to be at home full-time. I had moments of deep regret but mostly because other circumstances made our decision vs. us making it because we were complete. I didn't have daily regrets, I was not emotionally wrecked - just a longing and the occasional ache for something that I knew couldn't be. When I found CH - it was a dream come true. I'd never even heard of having it reversed! I couldn't get there fast enough. It didn't take long, and we were in CH getting it done. And while we had some ups and downs (one chemical, one loss at 10 weeks) we eventually welcomed our first TR baby in May 08. During the pg we had many long honest conversations about after and all the factors: the long emotional journey ttc, our ages, the age differences in our children - we agreed our family was going to be complete. There were some medical concerns but those aside - I would have re-ligated my tubes anyway. I'm 37 next month, I have three children and my life is very full. I know my limitations, and with the tools we have - we can raise these three within our means, still save, still enjoy our lives and give our children as much as we can. I have no regrets NOW, but I've never experienced PTLS or any other physical issues. After my first ligation I would get teary on occasion watching A Baby Story or seeing a pregnant lady, now I'm so over baby stuff it's a 180 change. Like everyone - I'm eternally grateful to CH for helping us have another child and completing our family. But I always expected to have my tubes re-tied - and have no regret at all. BFP's to all!

Posted by Kathy, ST (Member # 8285) on September 25, 2008 08:03 AM:
The expression of emotion from each of these stories creates a great support system for those women with this shared experience, whether it be tubal ligation, tubal reversal or both.
Kathy

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 08:19 AM:
Flutist29 I know what you mean. I saw your big day is October the 8th. That is my birthday. I will truly be thinking of you on that day and saying prayers for you. I wish you all the best. It is funny too that we both live in NC. Tanya from VA your story is a great one that reminds us we never know how things will go. I wish you all the best. Miranda
ME-27
DH-22
DS-8
DD-4
TR-3/24/08

Posted by Eric'sGirl (Member # 10652) on September 25, 2008 10:31 AM:
Jennifer K... kudos to you for such a positive spin on the situation. Mine - a story that has been and will be told (UNFORTUNATELY) time and time again. A bad, abusive relationship... two babies back to back (blessed with a girl and a boy) and knowing I was leaving "some day" - couldn't risk another pregnancy. Dr. was going to do clips because I was so young. I said he had to do the "traditional" cut and burn... or I would catch hell at home for having something "removable." It could only mean I was planning to leave and start over again someday. TL Dr. went above and beyond the call of duty on that one! But Dr. B to the rescue! He pulled off some fancy work in there! No regrets, NOW! Through it all, I have meet some of the most amazing people: a doctor and a staff unparalleled any where on this planet, an amazing support group of women I will never meet and my October '07 girls... some of the best friends a girl could want. So, Jennifer K, I have come to your way of thinking. It all happens for a reason. One year TR anniversary is coming up... still no Berger Baby - yet, my life has been blessed one thousand times over by this whole journey! Thank you CHTRC staff! Chrissy

Posted by justnotme (Member # 12842) on September 25, 2008 11:11 AM:

I also now regret having a TL. I had mine 18 months ago after the birth of my 2nd child. We were blessed with a DS and DD and felt that no matter what anyways 2 children were enough for me. I had the TL because I as well did not want to have to deal with BC pills etc and figured I was having a repeat c/s so I would do then. Another factor was my age. I was 37 when I had my DD and thought gosh, I don't want to be having another one later on in life. So, after discussion with my OB about PTLS (I did research before my TL and stumbled across this website but didn\'t't really fully understand because of course I had not had it done yet) she informed me that it did not exist. Sooo, had it done. I didn't get my first AF until 6 months after my DD due to breastfeeding, but let me tell you it was a doozie!! I had never experienced something like that before. I just thought, oh well it's the first one post partum and dealt with it. Then I started noticing many more symptoms each month. So, I went searching again on the web and ended up here again. It has come full circle. PTLS does exist and that is why I am having the TR. To add to HisWill questioning whether the guilt or symptoms brought on the regret. For me it was the symptoms then the regret came. After reading about PTLS and it's affects on women, I then felt really BROKEN. I am now not only on a quest to feel better but to feel whole. I have a lot of faith in GOD and definitely feel like He led me back here so I need to do what I know in my heart I need to do. Not only for me but the health and well being of my family. My TR is scheduled for Oct 29th and I am sooooo excited to have it done. I am so glad the we have the Dr.s and staff at CH to help us all heal for whatever reasons we did this for. Thank you all for letting me share my story with you and I enjoyed reading all of yours. Lisa

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 25, 2008 11:24 AM:
Lisa that's a great story. I pray the very best for you! I agree with you about symptoms first helping to lead to a feeling of being broken. It bothers me when the reverse is associated...like because we are sad we can't have children, suddenly our bodies are sick. I didn't even REALIZE I had regret until the symptoms of PTLS kept bludgeoning me. God Bless! Andrea

Posted by gotthebabybug (Member # 12913) on September 25, 2008 11:37 AM:
I want to share my experience with TL. I had 2 little ones and divorced my husband. It was a bad situation and I had to get out of that home. I was 14 hours away from family and wanted to stay in the area because of the children. Even if me and their father didn't get along it was no excuse for moving across the country. I stayed and ex remarried and our relationship changed. I actually consider his wife one of my closest friends, strange I know. So that leads my to baby number three. I started a relationship with a co worker big mistake. We eventually moved in together and I thought everything was peachy. He had a daughter from a previous marriage and he just adored her. I mean I never saw a man just love a child so much. He was also good with my boys, taking them out fishing all the time. A year into the relationship we discussed having a child of our own. Well the mere thought of it and bingo bango I was PG. Morning sickness was horrible and a month or 2 into it he tells me he is leaving and he wants me to have an abortion. My ex and his wife took me and the boys in for awhile because I was so sick and in shock. I actually had a discussion about abortion because I was just lost and didn't know what to do. Then I thought to hell with him I can do this on my own. He realized that this baby was coming like it or not. We managed to remain friendly and he went to child birth classes with me and was there for delivery. His mom was there too. He wanted baby to have his last name and I agreed not thinking things through - to hormonal. Anyway during the pregnancy I decided that all men were evil and it was best that I not having anymore children. He brought me and baby home from the hospital and never came around again. I called and asked for some help with support and wanting him in her life. He said he would give me $50.00 a month! I was in college and didn't want to take him to court so I agreed. Well he would call me and say I am in the parking lot come and get your money. Not once did he ask to see her. I called one night and asked for a little extra because I was low on diapers. He showed up with a check and stood in front of me and ripped it in half. What a man. I cried I didn't know what I was going to do. He said take me to court if you want the money. So I did and guess what he said it wasn't his. I think he did this to drag out the process. We had to take a paternity test and viola 99.9% his. This was almost a 2 year process. I finally started getting money and he quit his job, go figure. He then said he wanted visitation just to make me miserable not because he wanted anything to do with this child. I was financially comfortable at this point and really didn't need his money. I told him I will drop all child support if you agree to stay away. He didn't want this child and I didn't want her in an environment that was not good for her. She will be 8 next month and DH is the only daddy she has ever known. He would like to do a step parent adoption but I have fear of contacting her biological father. I did actually sit down and talk to her about him a few weeks ago. I have pictures and video of him at the birth and I want her to know about him. Anyway I know this is a long post. I have matured over the years and I had TL for all of the wrong reasons. I regret it and it has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am grateful to have found this site and look forward to my TR. Going through this has made me a strong woman who will stand up for what is right. I have faith that this will all work out for me and a baby will bless our family. Kim

Posted by KimSmi (Member # 7996) on September 25, 2008 11:43 AM:
Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back. I am another person who never regretted my TL. I had it when married to my ex and if I hadn't, we might have had more children together. Though I would not trade my kids for the world, it is best that he and I did not have any others together. I had TR in 2005 and we (me and my current DH) gave 2.5 yrs of our lives to TTC. We made a wholehearted effort to have a baby together. Lots of life changes happened in 2.5 years and we decided we did not want to expand the size of our family, so DH had a vasectomy in January this year. Still no regrets. Each choice we've made has been right for that time in life. Best to everyone.
Kim
TL 5/1999
TR 6/2005
DH-V 1/2008

Posted by jessicad (Member # 12914) on September 25, 2008 12:03 PM:
KimSmi - I really enjoyed reading your post and your statement "Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back." That really says a lot. I too really have no regrets from getting my TL. Granted, now we're considering the possibility of having a TR, but at the time the TL was what we wanted. Maybe we could have chosen a less "permanent" option, but hey! we did what we felt was right. We never know what the future holds for us.

Posted by hpygrl (Member # 12861) on September 25, 2008 12:38 PM:
I chose to have my TL because I was married to an abusive man and could not imagine bringing another child into that.(I would not change having my DS and DD from that relationship though) But at the time I was not sure that I would survive everything that I was going through and my ex was looking for another reason to tie me to relatioship longer...and he thought another child was it. Any way, this could drag out for ever so I will cut it short. I chose to have my TL with no support from him. My sister was by my side the whole time and supported me more than I could have ever imagined. My GYN did try to talk me into something less permanent, but I was afraid my ex would take that as a sign that I may be planning to leave him one day since he all ready knew I did think that us having more children was a good idea. I did not regret my decision at all until I met a wonderful man and he asked me to marry him. He has no children of his own and initially we were fine with the idea of not having children together. Well, now that time has passed and we have both changed our mind about that I have scheduled my TR for Oct. 27. We are looking forward to TTC and will hopefully be bringing a little one into our family soon!

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 12:48 PM:
gotthebabybug
What a touching story. I am so glad to hear that good or bad you have learned to stand up for what is right. The is what truly learning from your life is. My DH would like to adopt my 2 kids as well. But like you I am not ever looking forward to facing my ex about it all.I wish you all the best as you do what is right for your family. Miranda
TR-3/24/08

Posted by gotthebabybug (Member # 12913) on September 25, 2008 01:21 PM:
Its funny how all of the bad things I went through I some how managed to turn into a positive in my life now. At the time I would never have thought I would be in such a good place in my life. I have been blessed. I am a fighter and I always pull myself back to the top. If I don't get the chance to have another baby I will be fine with that. There are other avenues out there you just gotta look.Kim

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 08:05 PM:
Kim that is so true. I tell everyone, "nothing you want in this life is going to come easy". You have to be a fighter. I wish you all the best and will be praying for you. Miranda

Posted by tjsncj (Member # 12135) on September 26, 2008 07:24 PM:
I do not regret my TL either. I was married at 17 had 3 kids by age 22 and had the TL during the c-section of my last baby. I had always wanted only 3 kids plus they said my uterus was thin and shouldn't have any more so I had the TL. Fast forward 17 years later and me ex left us for a snotty biotch. He definetely deserved what you got, she's a peach and makes him sleep in the basement. Two years later I remarried a younger man that had no children. The whole time after the TL I had no desire to have any more children but after I met him that was the only thing I wanted more than anything - giving him a child. Even though I hadn't wanted anymore I couldn't bear to live with myself if I was the reason he never had children. So we decided to have the TR and if it worked then it was meant to be. It apparently was meant to be because I had my TR on 9-7-05 and had a baby boy on 4-28-07. He came 6 weeks early on his daddy's 32nd birthday. It was rough adjusting to a baby again. My other kids were 21, 19 and 16 at the time. Of course they adore him and just seeing the way DH looks at his son makes it all worth it. I had another TL in October 2007 and I have not regretted that TL either. Good luck to all those that are TTCing. Like JenniferK, I think the journney I am on happened for a reason and he is now clomping around the house in his new shoes, dragging his blanket behind him where ever he goes. JoAnn

Posted by melissa29 (Member # 12929) on September 26, 2008 08:33 PM:
hi everyone i got my TL only seven years ago after my forth child and now im remarried and my husband loves my kids like his own but he really would like one of his own.